‘Cause Baby You’re Worth It

Hey guys! I’ve been so busy getting all my assignments in for midterms (only to find out that most my classes have been cancelled as a result of this snowstorm). Before I begin, I’d like to wish a Happy Belated International Women’s Day, to women of the world. May we love them, respect them, and learn from them!

One day, I was driving home from school and was listening to the radio. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE to turn up the volume on a good song!

Has anyone heard of Fifth Harmony’s song “Worth It”?

I freaking love listening to this song and even though it has been played more than a million times on the radio, I still jam out whenever it comes on. On the day that I was driving back, however, I paid attention to the lyrics more than ever.

Give it to me, I’m worth it
Baby I’m worth it
Uh huh I’m worth it
Gimme gimme I’m worth it

These opening lines are so empowering. I know that this is in reference to a girl telling her man that she wants a specific thing, but to me, it means so much more. This sassy vocal in this doesn’t play around or beat around the bush. The singer knows what she wants and isn’t going to question it. I feel like that is what we all aspire to be.

How many times do we say “I’m going to be more true to myself” or “I’m tired of being afraid of who I am”? I mean, we are entitled to what we want and it’s up to us to articulate that. We DESERVE that, because baby, we’re worth it.

I’ve spent most of my life being afraid of who I am and who I wanted to be. It took me awhile to find my worth and that’s something I want to share. From a pretty young age, I remember feeling pretty shitty about myself. Then again, it wasn’t just me who felt this way towards me.

I often gravitated to the people who were “popular” or people who never really shared similar beliefs in terms of academics and success.

enter 13-year-old me.

I surrounded myself around people who never even bothered to see my worth. What’s even crazier, is I thought that they would, only because I didn’t see worth within myself.

It took me a long time to get to where I am today. I’ve been dying to write about something like this but have not yet had the right words to describe my experience- or battle, if you will- with this, until now.

Looking back, I’ve always been outgoing, sassy and sarcastic, but only with the people I considered my friends and close family members.

It wasn’t until I got to college that all of that changed. One of the main things that I wanted to do was step out of my comfort zone. After all, I noticed a significant change in my mood, thanks to the anti-depressants I was on. While I was at college, I made a ton of new friends and I felt a sense of ease because I realized that I could be me. I could be me and see the load of worth I found in myself throughout my recovery.

The moment that you find your worth, is the moment that things start to come together. For example, when I set out to find a group of friends who shared similar beliefs and were people I could have fun with, life gravitated me to that.

I became this very outgoing sassy person and I loved it! I’m still this way today, but now I let it radiate through to everyone I meet, which is an amazing feeling.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the past and how it has lead me to now. There have been certain things that have definitely set me back, but now I’m getting into the mindful habit of not letting myself be stuck in the past. Instead of being stuck, I’m learning from the past because it serves as a big lesson in life.

However, I get that it’s so much better to ditch the past because who cares, right? The thing is though, sometimes the past serves as a lesson. When you notice something, like a pattern or even a habit you get into, from time to time, you become more aware of your own short comings.

For example, I had this unbearable habit of talking smack about my friends behind their backs to people they were close to. Time and time again proved that I cannot always trust people who are close to these so-called friends of mine.

But when life throws us a lesson, do we make the effort to listen to it and learn from it?

More than half the time, we don’t. Before we know it, we’ve fallen victim to the same thing.

Or like whenever I would engage in self-depreciating behavior, I remember holding myself up to a standard and putting all this pressure on myself to be the best. I thought that if I fell below that, it meant that I wasn’t deserving of all the good things in life.

It took me a long time to realize that I can never be perfect. The only one who is, is the big man upstairs.

Now, I am more conscious of being mindful whenever I make a mistake. In fact, I’ll do one of two things: laugh it off or just say – to myself – any of these phrases, “the more I know”, “good to know”, “well, you didn’t know, but you know now for the future”, etc etc. Even if I feel myself come to have self-deprecating thoughts, I stop it by saying “okay, so lets not get self deprecating up in here, let’s look for a solution to my problem, instead.”

It also boils down to whoyou surround yourself with and what you surround yourself with to feel worthy. Make sure that both your who and your what are positive things, because if you think about it, these two things are interdependent of each other.

If your who involves people who are toxic and feed off of your energy, then most likely your ‘what’ is going to involve some self-deprecating behaviors.

not at all saying that drinking is bad, but if you’re doing it to fill a void of worthlessness then check out my post on voids

The same thing goes with good things too. If your ‘who’ are people who motivate you, make you feel at ease, then your ‘what’ is going to be some mindful behaviors that are productive and help you work towards your goals.

Bottom line: Find your worth and see where it leads you. Engage in behaviors that promote mindfulness and allow you to grow. Look to the past and learn from it.

“Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved.”- 1 Corinthians 10:6-11

Sending love and light your way!

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Losing Weight: The Part No One Talks About

Hey guys so this past week, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was just a check up and to see if I still needed to get a vaccine.

So I get my height, weight, and eye sight checked by the nurse. The usual. Then I was redirected to an examination room where I could wait for the doctor. So I sit there waiting for the doctor, and since I was the only one in the office, the doctor came by pretty quick.

They look at my chart on their laptop and notices that I gained 5 pounds.

*GASP* “Karen, you gained FIVE pounds?!”

and without missing a beat I said, “it’s probably just muscle because I’ve noticed my legs have gotten more toned.”

To which the doctor responds, “Yeah, but your BMI is a ____. You’re ‘overweight’ for your height”

Simply put, I was called fat. When CLEARLY I am not.

Family vacation in Bermuda (December 2017)

They brought up the literal Body Mass Index chart. In my opinion, that chart is a messed up construct used to classify people by how fat/overweight they are. No one uses that when they’re talking about their weight, like I don’t go around saying ” I’m a *insert bullshit BMI chart number here*”. In fact, no one really knows what those standards are and if I were to ask someone what their BMI is, do you think they would know? NO.

We live in not just a body sensitive world, but also a body positive one.

Body sensitive, in that now, what you communicate to a patient or anyone can have profound effects on their mental/emotional mindset as well as their own perception of themselves. There are some people who cannot have their weight be said out loud or who refuse to have their weight being done for a doctors check up because of this.

This is all in reference to a psychological theory called Social Comparison Theory(SCT). SCT is when you see where you stack up in a group and how there are certain attributes that you latch onto. So say someone says “you’re very gorgeous and you would make a man very happy”, you tend to latch onto this attribute of being very gorgeous. You find yourself in a group with other gorgeous people and you see where you stack up from “gorgeous” to “not gorgeous”. When you see that you don’t even stack up in said group, then you leave the group and see where you stack up in another.

This happens a lot more on social media. So you are still latched onto the “gorgeous” attribute, so when you go on sites like Instagram and Facebook, you actively start searching for gorgeous looking people and therefore seeing if you even compare to these Instagram models.

When we focus too much on that and we don’t see that we can compete with this standard of beauty, what happens is we internalize an awful load of negativity about ourselves, causing depression, cutting, and eating disorders.

But… We also live in a body positive world where there is now, more than ever, a light being shone on mental health illnesses and eating disorders. There are CELEBRITIES who struggle with mental health illnesses and are verbal about their ongoing struggles. There are communities that you can join that are centered around positivity and spreading awareness of these things. Which is amazing.

Losing weight isn’t something that should be taken lightly. While it is easy to say, it’s very hard to do, because it’s all part of the emotional and mental process of being consistent with diet and exercise.When that doctor basically told me I was “overweight” for my height, I thought HOW?


  • Go to the gym about 3 or 4 days a week, as my schedule permits
  •  do loads of cardio followed by lifting weights
  • When I eat out, I try to eat healthier alternatives
  • But at the same time, I don’t deprive myself of some good chocolate chip cookies, fraps, or other delightful snacks.
  • I try not to eat too much bread in one day

In my eyes, I think I am healthy. I don’t really pay attention too much to my weight because it does INCREASE and FLUCTUATE.

I am healthy and have come a long way from where I was since my freshman year of college.

I was dorming and I was at a school that was out-of-state. It was maybe my first time being away from home for a long period of time. Prior to me living on campus, I was taking medication that opened up my appetite and helped me get on a good sleeping pattern. The only problem was, it was my freshman year and the freshman 15 was in full swing. Only I didn’t gain the freshman 15, I GAINED THE FRESHMAN 45!

here I am with a public speaker that was at my school (March 2016).

Where I went to school, they practically fried anything AND everything they could get their hands on. Hey, it’s not their fault, they were trying to appeal to the mainstream college student.

But I would soon realize that losing weight was a hard and grueling thing for me to overcome. I realized that it wasn’t as easy as it was back in high school, where I could scarf down fries for lunch and then head to my gym class to burn it off.

I found out that I had an anxiety to eat, whenever,  wherever. In order to combat it, I had to internalize 3 questions…

  • Was I actually hungry?
  • Was I bored?
  • What is a healthier alternative to what I’m craving?

Once I got that under control and was able to rationalize my eating habits, I was able to schedule and work going to the gym AROUND my schedule.

To up my self-esteem a bit, I learned some yoga/meditation and booked a photo shoot with really good photographer and friend. (I’ll put the link to her work at the bottom of the post!)

Granted, I am not a perfect person. I fell victim to wanting to drop in weight every week, but sometimes my weight loss journey came with a lot of setbacks, which I learned is okay. Those setbacks were designed to motivate me further towards a healthier lifestyle, without constantly depriving myself of ice cream and cookies.

here I am at a place called the Gorge in New Hampshire (September 2016).

Losing weight is more than just the appearance. It’s more about how you feel. If you don’t feel okay, then do something to change it. Work towards a healthier and happier you, without taking drastic measures to see where you fit. Working towards a healthier and happier you doesn’t necessarily mean lose or gain weight, it could just mean that you are working towards a better version of yourself, starting from what’s inside and being able to project how you feel about yourself, outwards.

You are enough.

Fancy Dinner with some of my friends (January 2018)

For more of Lin’s work, check out her wix site Here!

Knowing What You Want

So just recently, I got slapped

Not in the way you think though… I was slapped with the truth.

Alright, let me back track a bit… I had some time to kill before my next class and on some days, I’m on campus all day. I had remembered that I needed to see a college advisor to ask them something that I had noticed on my transcript. I paid more attention to this because I am graduating soon and will be transferring to another college. So I signed in and waited until the next counselor was available.

Boy, did I get more than what I was asking for.

Enter a no-bullshit counselor.

“And what is your name, young lady?”


I follow this counselor into their office. I set down my stuff and I asked them a question regarding my transcript, to which they answered with a simple solution and the next thing I was asked was where I was applying, what my major is, normal things that advisers ask. The conversation somehow lead to me talking about a study abroad opportunity that I wanted to do, along with many more opportunities that I have been given in just a week into the new year. What is in bold are the truths that I was slapped with.

“Oh so you think that *insert opportunity here* just popped out of thin air.”

I stared at them, they stared back at me. I’m so serious.When I first thought of receiving a unique opportunity, I honestly thought it that it came pretty much out of nowhere. However, I realized later that it was because of my academic achievement so far at this school. Furthermore, it was because I was affiliated with an honor society that grants opportunities like studying abroad and taking courses at very well-known institutions, among many other unique experiences that students can take advantage of.

“Look, you know what you want…”

They then tell me that while I am a communications major I can “win people over” with my words, but that I can’t fool them when it comes to body language. Which is fair because I noticed that in some things I talked about I got more animated when I explained what each opportunity was about. They noticed that I smiled when I talked about going to school in one area in particular… The New England area.

I love the area very much, I have gone in and around the area on multiple occasions and have fallen in love more each time.

If I went to school in this area, I could have better opportunities for jobs and unique experiences than local universities nearby. To me, I think taking advantage of applying to schools in the New England area would be well worth it. It’s a risk that I should take. If I have a chance to be a part of something so much bigger than myself, why should I wait? What was holding me back?

“… Articulate what you want, before someone gives you something they think you want.”

This right here was the mother of all slaps. I feel like each of the little quotes that I have in bold, have led to this big one right here. It’s almost as if I was running around with my head chopped off, looking for answers to my situation, when the answer was so simple and much closer than I had imagined.

Maybe some part of me knew exactly what to do, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. What that talk did to me was motivate me. It motivated me to become more assertive in the things that I wanted to do. Things that I shouldn’t even be putting on the back burner, like unique opportunities to study abroad!

More importantly, I learned that I shouldn’t take these things lightly. It is only a matter of time before I get handed something that someone else thinks would be great for me. Getting something that another person thinks I want, wouldn’t be as rewarding or worthwhile as the opportunity I have gotten through the honor society.

This counselor summed it all up by explaining to me that in order to get what I want, I have to be honest in what it is I want and that I have to make a transaction. When you’re out at a store, you can’t just pick up something, look at it, then put it back and have the nerve to say you made a transaction. In reality, did you really make that transaction? No.

So make that transaction! Pick up that opportunity, inquire about it, and take a leap of faith in knowing what you want!

After that day, I realized that I needed someone to tell me the honest and brutal truth. As wild and amazing as it sounds, I feel like the universe and God have come together and given me a nice thing called the truth. In life, we all deserve someone who will tell us what it is that we should hear and more importantly, to be pushed in the right direction.

Find what you want to do and articulate it, make it known what it is that you want to accomplish.

Much love and strength,


Why Being Needy Isn’t Good

People can’t stand someone who is needy. I can’t stand a needy person. Being needed every once in a while is nice, but being needed all the time feels almost too draining. It is suffocating.

When I asked for a guy’s perspective on the matter, they said that being needy is flat out unattractive.

So here’s a scenario: say you like someone and you’re talking about them to all your friends, but you have no idea if this kid likes you or not.  You’re constantly giving them attention, without having any reinforcements showing you that this person really shares your feelings.

You are so dependent on them that you don’t realize how much you are actually hurting yourself. In short, being needy is not a good thing.

When you’re in a relationship, being too needy can lead to only one thing: the break-up.

Now this post aims to help you or someone you know, how to not be needy, what you can do instead, and how to be conscious of it in a relationship.

I’m not saying you should be so independent that you must show to everyone how un-needy you are, because where are people needed if you claim this? But what I’m saying is you have to be able to find a happy medium that isn’t too stand-off-ish or too needy, and that can be hard. So that’s where I come in.

You are dependent on a person, instead of on yourself

Being needy shows a lack of self worth. It shows that you depend on someone for your own happiness or sense of security. I have gotten so tired of hearing needy people say things like “My heart is aching for someone to love me” , “he is my world” or my favorite, “Woe is me, I am so tired of being left out in the cold with my heart broken”

Wake. The. F%^&. Up

You are a strong, man or woman. You are capable of having your own happiness, and having that same happiness stem from within yourself. You do not need to rely on someone who can “light up your world like nobody else”, light up your own world. You are in control of your own happiness.

Do you need someone to keep you warm at night? Not necessarily. Learn how to do that on your own. Learn to be alone and content with yourself. Sometimes, it is okay to focus on yourself, focus on what you need and how you can supply some of these things that you look for in a person (i.e warmth, love, cuddles, etc). Again, I am not saying that you have to be a lone wolf, but what I am saying is that you should learn to treat yourself with the same love and warmth as one would in a relationship, for the time being, until you find the right person.

Now, I’m gonna tell you a little story. As crazy as it sounds, I used to be needy.


Yes. you read correctly. I remember one time my freshman year in college, I sparked up a conversation with this kid and next thing I know, I’m texting him non-stop, feeling sorry for myself every time he didn’t answer me back, the whole enchilada.

But it turned out that I just liked the idea of him. I didn’t take into account the subtle social cues he was using to let me down easy.  I didn’t see or take into account how he made me feel, but instead fixated on how I was making him feel. So when I “fell for him”, I was surprised and crushed at the fact that he did not feel the same way.

Through many lessons I learned in my first year of college, I learned a lot about myself and how to be conscious of the neediness I had expressed. I am not a perfect person. I am still working on this and it has been so invigorating being able to see my worth in myself rather than on another person. Finding your worth is also a work in progress and something one should always strive for everyday.

Finding a happy medium between independent and needy

Being independent is one extreme, but being needy is another extreme.

So here is a pro and cons list of independent and needy


  • Pro of being independent: You rely on yourself and not on others to achieve your goals.
  • Pro of being needy: none


  • con of being independent:  If you’re too independent and insist that you don’t need help at all in accomplishing your goals, it makes you look bad. It makes you sound like you are so much better off without them. While it may not be what you say, it could be something that you do very often and vice versa.
  • con of being needy: what was just outlined before. If you rely on someone for your overall happiness, where does that leave you? You end up looking like an overly- obsessed girlfriend or boyfriend.

So please learn to be conscious of when you are needy with such actions as:

  • Texting/Calling bae or someone you’re ‘talking’ to more than three times a day.
  • Talking about the person you’re talking to when the other party hasn’t even asked about how your relationship is progressing.
  • Relying on them as your only source of happiness
  • Being a little impatient or jealous when you see a photo with another girl or guy who just is their friend.

Finding a happy medium in all of this could be as simple as not doing any of the behaviors I just listed.

This list could go on, but if you have anything to add on the matter, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Power of Respect

Hey guys so, I know it’s been a while, but I was just given this amazing opportunity to be able to give a talk today for this thing called a Read-in. We honored Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. So here is the piece that I decided to read yesterday!


“The time is always right to do what is right.”- Martin Luther King Jr.

So today’s post is gonna be about the one thing that should be instilled in everyone from a young age but isn’t. There are going to be people in your life who genuinely either do not show you respect because of their lack thereof or they simply don’t know how to show you that respect because no one ever taught them.

Respect is a huge thing and quite honestly, it has been a huge thing for a while now. It is something that is so essential to everyday life, and so easy to do.

So why do people lack it?

Disrespect and ignorance kind of go hand in hand with each other. In today’s world, respect isn’t shown as much. They way you parent a child,

Like how do some people expect to be given respect, if it hasn’t even been earned? I mean, think about it, you can’t just walk into a position of authority and demand respect. That’s not how it works. You need to build that trust so that you can respect someone. If you want to be a better person, part of it has to do with being open to all opinions and respecting the opinions that may not be yours. Then again, you don’t have to agree with an opinion you don’t really see fit to your experiences.

Just respect their opinions and understand where they are coming from. You can’t really know what their experiences were, which is why you should always stay open minded and above all, be tolerant of those views.

Everyone has different experiences and come from all walks of life. You are given opportunities to meet these people everyday, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, and/or disability. R E S P E C T them, that’s all that anyone asks.

I feel like the more we respect, the more we can understand each other and listen to each others views, then we can learn about where other people are coming from based on their frames of reference.

By frames of reference I mean areas of knowledge, like general experiences we have had throughout our lives, that we can provide another insight or perspective on the matter.

We need to be open to those perspectives, respect one another and realize that we are all humans, who are capable of learning respect and tolerance. So begin today.

thank you.


It was such an exhilarating experience to be able to listen to some of the poems that people found surrounding the topic of Martin Luther King Jr., the injustices in today’s society among many more. It’s amazing to see and learn a different perspective.

Cutting Ties

I don’t know about you, but there comes a point in life where we need to cut people who have gone dormant in our lives. Why should I even spend time thinking about people who really don’t spend a second thinking about me? If someone genuinely cared, they would reach out. I recently realized that […]