A Dynamic Mentality

Hey y’all! Happy 4th! How are we doing today?! I hope y’all are doing well and are enjoying these fiiiine days of summer in July!

The other night, I went out dancing for the first time, in a long time, and needless to say, I need more of those fun nights in my life! Life’s too short, haha! On top of that, I have just been packing for my upcoming trips and making sure I have the items I need (more on that here!).

So in the midst of all of that, I always want to make sure that I’m creating really good, food-for-thought content for all of you, my fellow readers, so that you can become a better person!

A couple days ago, I was at bible study and we were doing an icebreaker where we said our names and talked about a childhood memory. So when it got to me, I talked about how clumsy I was as a kid and how whenever my family and I went on walks around the neighborhood, I would often scrape my knees. The thing about it though, was I had to keep going. My parents taught me from a young age that, even if I scrape my knees, I still had to continue that walk.

And so this leads into what I’m going to talk about in this post. The theme of Bouncing back.

I want to open up this topic, by first asking this question:

What are you bouncing back from?

It could be a break up, a falling out with someone, a traumatic event, depression, anxiety, being sick for a while, etc.

Bouncing back is a topic that hits so close to home with me because I have had situations where I wasn’t sure if I would get back up and be the person I once was. I longed to be that happy, cheerful person before my depression hit, for example.

But the fact of the matter is this: we are never the same people as before our traumatic events.

We grow. We change. We adapt. For better or for worse, in some cases.

I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason. Once we find that reason, we can learn to be able to bounce back from what took us out a lot quicker.

For example, when I started out at my old college, I had taken a psych course. Around that time, I was in recovery from depression and trying to bounce back from it, but quite frankly, I was not doing too well on that front.

One day in class, someone had asked about depression, and my psych professor explained that depression is a result of something happening in the past or something that will happen in the future that is out of our control.

I feel like I’ve talked about this experience in previous blog posts, but in that moment, I remember feeling something had clicked.

The reason why I was feeling this way was because I had a fear of getting used to new environments. That was something I was trying to come to terms with throughout my recovery, but in that moment, it sunk in for me.

Once we find what it is that is keeping us from bouncing back, it is then that we are better able to get back up and tackle our problems head on.

So if you’re going through a break-up…

Learn that it is okay to want to be by yourself. It is okay to feel like you aren’t ready to move on just yet, but also bear in mind that in order to bounce back, you need to be able to figure out the reasons why the relationship never worked out.

What can you gain from the experience? What is something you could say to someone in your shoes?

When you are ready to look within, these are things you need to think about.

You need to realize that getting out of a relationship shouldn’t dull your shine. Regardless of how y’all ended, learn to take a step back and keep in mind that things happen for a reason.

We may not know it then, but in time, we’ll come to understand why something didn’t work out so well.

And realize that you deserve all the candle lit dinners, fireworks, adventures and all the cuddles and the respect that a man or woman can give you!

Bouncing back can come in the form of going out, having a nice GNO, or just swiping right on tinder (because that’s a thing)

on to the next one…

If you just had a falling out with an old friend…

Learn that for whatever reason, that friend was not doing it for you.

They may have been great, but you’re growing, changing and adapting everyday! If someone can’t get with that, they need to leave!

While it may be hard to accept in the moment, know that if you’ve been feeling unhappy or a sense of dead weight in your life prior to the fall out, then this fall out needed to happen. As much as I hate to say this, people will leave your life. One day you could go from having two really good friends to having none the next. It’s life.

I’m not gonna sugar coat the pain that comes after losing a friend you’ve had for quite some time, but I’m also not going to tell you how easy it is to bounce back from this.

Depending on how bad the falling out was, it’s literally almost like a break up. It’s awful, it hurts, and it’s something that I have struggled with for a long time. Sometimes, leaving them might feel like a bad thing, but remember to stay true to yourself and really stay true to what you value. Keep this in mind when you think about the fall out.

Use this time of bouncing back to really find who you are. Find people who are willing to support you in whatever you decide to do and make you happy. MARIE KONDO YOUR FRIENDS, Y’ALL; leave behind the people (and things) who don’t spark joy in your life!!!

If you’re coming to terms with a traumatic event…

Seek help. I am by no means a therapist or a medical professional, but I do have some knowledge on the front of a traumatic event.

Depending on the magnitude and the frequency of this traumatic event, this, among many other things, is a tough thing to simply bounce back from. However, I am not saying that this is something that you can’t ever bounce back from, you can, it’ll just take some time.

As you come to terms with the event, please be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and know that there is help. Help is out there and all you need to do is call 1-800-273-8255. If you don’t feel okay talking with a random stranger on the other line, that’s okay, too! Talk with a trusted friend, parent, or family member in your life.

If you’re unsure of how to bring it up in conversation, that is okay. In time, there will come a moment where you’ll divulge the details to a trusted friend or family member.

Regardless of when you decide to do this, know that talking about it is going to help you.

Find out what your options are and be ready to talk about it.

And please, please, please for all that is good in the world, do not suffer in silence.

When you are ready, speak up and advocate for yourself. Get the help that you need so that you can learn coping skills and find out what your triggers are. Help other people who have gone through a similar situation.

With all of this being said, make sure that you are taking care of yourself and doing things that are bringing you joy. If it’s your first time reading my blog, then I encourage you to read some of my other posts on this subject (here and here!)

Your successes in life aren’t determined by how many wins you’ve had, rather it’s determined by how you have bounced back from the failures that tested your willingness to continue.

I get that the view from the ground is pretty, but the view from the top is a much more beautiful sight to see.

I love you all! To find out where I’m traveling to next or to catch up with me on my latest posts, follow me on instagram!

Sending a load of light and love your way,