Pushing Fast Forward

Hey y’all! I hope all of you are doing well and are killing it in your daily endeavors. Whether that be in waking up and going to school or going to work, just know that I am here rooting for you! I’m doing alright, I’m just doing the usual: studying and going to work. My week hasn’t been all that eventful, to be quite honest. Lately, I’ve been trying to find some peace, amidst the chaos that is the last couple of weeks of the semester.

More specifically, I’m at a point in my life where I just want to push fast forward…

Fast forward to the summer

Fast forward to next year

Fast forward to graduation

Just all of it.

I’m so done with the semester and it almost feels like I’ve been in school for well over 5 years. Sometimes, I wish life was like that game, bitlife. Where all you have to do is hit the age button and do only minute actions to get by.

But life, as we know it, is not just “some sort of game”, it’s filled with hardships, important responsibilities, decisions that we make and the consequences of those decisions. Life is… difficult and we have to work really hard for things, like our goals and lifetime success, to get what we want in the end: to be happy.

I used to be so anxious about what’s to come in the future, but now I’m actually more than ready; eager (if you will), with a small twinge of anxiety, to see what’s to come. I’m ready for the next big change in my life. It’s so close, I can almost taste it—

But More Importantly: What is my rush?

Why am I feeling this way all of a sudden? Has my routine become so humdrum? Are there things I should be doing? What. Is. My. Rush?!

Like it’s so crazy.

I had a dream the other night where I kept saying to a group of friends that I wanted to just “push fast forward [through my life]” and I did.

I lived out my dream of being a time traveler, to say the least!

I saw things I didn’t want to see or things I definitely wasn’t equipped to deal with– and I think that’s what the dream was teaching me…

That as much as I want to fast forward through life, I can’t.

I can’t just fast forward to the ‘good’ parts of my life, without going through the ‘bad’ parts. Better yet, how am I going to go to the good parts of my life, without experiencing the bad parts and understanding why I had to go through them?

It’s like hitting fast forward on a really good movie. You can’t hit fast forward to the good parts, or else the entire movie loses its significance.

If you want to be able to really enjoy the benefits and appreciate the good, you have to go through hell and back to gain that kind of perspective.

In other words, you gotta watch the entire movie in order to appreciate the hard work that has been put into it!

And I guess, I should approach life this way. Living life and being happy now, so that I can reap the benefits of the future.

As much as I want to fast forward to all these great things that are to come, I have to be able to learn to be content in the present. I also have to keep in mind that a lot of the things in my life right now are temporary.

So here’s the thing that I want all of you to take away from this: it’s okay to want to hit fast forward, but just know that in order to reap the benefits of your future, you need to go through hell to gain an appreciation for your triumphs.

So sit back, relax and enjoy the movie. Do yourself a favor and don’t even bother looking for the spoilers.