Hey everyone! I hope y’all are doing alright. I’m catching up on some assignments here and there and on some shows, as usual. Work is going well, school is going well. I’m currently at a point in my life where I’m just actively looking for positive ways in getting out of my comfort zone. I’m going to do that by going to more events on campus and by looking at different ways to manage my stress, more specifically in the realm of working out and yoga.
Because as of right now, I’m not going to a gym or doing anything at home for the time being and I really like that aspect of taking workout classes, like CrossFit. So who knows? I’m open to seeing where this all goes (if you wanna see my adventures, head on over to my instagram!).
So what I want to talk to you all about today is… happiness!
We go through life thinking about when we’ll be at the height of our happiest.
We’re all so inclined to think that we’ll be happy when…
We move out of our parents’ house
We get more money
We get a better job
We get into a relationship with someone.
I mean the list could go on, but one thing is certain, we all think that our lives will begin the moment that we get into a situation that will make us “happier”. Lately I’ve been reading quotes left and right, that have said something along the lines of, “Don’t wait until your life begins, be happy now.”
Now that couldn’t be more further from the truth! Be. Happy. Now.
For example, I get into these patterns of thought, sometimes subconsciously or even consciously, where I’ll think: “I’ll be happy when… I move out of my house” or ” when I get into a relationship with someone who will respect me and not put me through some of the other shit I’ve gone through in the past”, etc.
Now, if you’re someone like me; what this kind of pattern of thought does, is it sets you up for failure. You set your expectations a little to high for yourself and it sets you up for negative thinking patterns where if you see yourself not achieve that goal of finally becoming happier, all you think is “what now?”, especially if you set those expectations for a specific point in time.
You have to be able to take into consideration that, life will happen and sometimes you’re not even in control of it.
I used to think that I would be at my happiest when I got into a relationship. Like when I get into a relationship, then I’ll be happier than my current situation.
We often tend to think that if we rely our own happiness on someone, then maybe their happiness will rub off on us and that’s not the case.
That person is not going to take away any of your pre-existing sadness, in fact, it will actually translate into that relationship. Which is why it is super important to be alone for a while and find ways to make yourself happy, before bringing on another person.
That’s what I’ve done, to take the time I need in order to learn about myself and what I like/don’t like. Little by little, I’m easing into this positive mindset, it isn’t easy, but it is worth it!
If we really want to be happy, we gotta start with ourselves first. We have to take into account that we are working on ourselves. We are working on our goals and those goals should hold so much importance to us. We should never, ever, forget that we are living in the present.
The more you focus on the future, the less you’ll enjoy the present. I understand that in today’s modern age, we’re told to always look ahead, get ahead of the game, but they neglect to tell us that we shouldn’t be so fixated on that. When we fixate ourselves on our future, we set ourselves up for unnecessary stress and anxiety.
The right way to think about our futures is to ask ourselves: “Is what I’m doing now, getting me closer to my goals or the person I want to be?” or “What am I doing now that will help me get to where I want to be?”
I mean I’m getting to this mindset where I’m happy where I am right now. Even though I have so much on my plate right now, I’m learning to be more content with myself, being alone, and literally finding out what I need for myself (that doesn’t involve another relationship as of right now).
Right now, I just need to build my brand, make some new content, focus on school and work. I’m happy with the way that my life is going so far this year. This year has been a year of opportunities for me, a year dedicated to my growth. I’m happy because everything in my life, up to this point, is going very well. To expect anything different, would be dumb.
I would much rather be happy than be overwhelmed and stressed, in a relationship that I wasn’t quite ready for. I’d rather be living my life in the present, than be focusing on the future.
We also have to keep in mind that most of the things we go through in life are temporary. Let me paint a picture for you:
Me being single? Temporary.
Me in school? Temporary.
Me living at home? Temporary.
It’s always important to keep in mind that there will come a day when you will be out of your current living situation, one day you’ll find someone, and one day, you will graduate.
We just gotta be mindful of when we start off by saying “I’m gonna be happy when…”. Be happy now. Be present in the moment. Focus on yourself. Do whatever you need to do to accomplish your goals and don’t ever settle for anything less.
If you’re looking for a sign from the universe and/or God, here it is: Don’t ever waste your time with people who don’t even know what they want.
I know what I want and that will come when the time is right. That may not be now, but it may be later. It might be in the summer, but who knows, really?
I always keep this in mind when I find myself comparing the lives of other people and I also think, “you know what, one day that’ll happen to me and I’ll be so happy that I waited”.
Learn to find the joy in working on your own happiness.
Sending a ton of Love and Light your way,