All The Things We Can’t Control

Hey all! I hope all is well. I’ve been so swamped this week with work, school, and everything in between. Luckily though, I’ve been able to catch a couple of breaks, so as to not stress myself out! It feels so great to be back on here, talking with all of you.

But boy. Is life a roller coaster or what?! I mean one minute we’re totally chillin’ and the next we’re trying to meet deadlines, make plans, and everything else under the sun. But it’s cool, because that’s just how life is, right?

We make decisions everyday and it seems like we have a say on a lot of the things that happen in our lives.

I have a lot of things that go on in my life, things I don’t really discuss openly for the sake of the people involved, and maybe I should get back into journaling, but with what time?

Journaling was and still is a very cathartic practice for me, but it requires a lot of time set aside. A lot of time that I unfortunately do not have because of work, school and life. With me, I always want to write, but how long do I really have until I actually have to do work that needs to get done?

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It’s always this never ending struggle with control. Some things I can control, while other things, I can’t.

I can’t control the way people view me, the way they feel about me, nor can I control the relationships people may have with other people. It’d be wrong of me to ask someone to stop having a relationship with the most meaningful people in their lives, just because I don’t like them.

What I’m trying to say though is this, there are certain things in our lives that we can control such as: the way we react to things, the way that we perceive threats, the way that we view life, in general, and the way we choose to act, as well as patterns. Patterns, in the sense of the kinds that we get into when meeting someone, dating, etc.

We have control over all of that because it’s all a matter of tweaking up those things that we have learned and unlearned on our own. We’re not perfect and we know that, but there’s nothing wrong with becoming a better person. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to figure ourselves out.

You are only in control of a select few things, so take control of what you can control and realize the things you can’t control. The biggest challenge of all is learning how to cope with things that are out of our control.

What’s also hard is knowing that there are things in your life you can’t control and then trying to control them because you think that controlling them will make a difference.

Let me be completely honest with you on this, it won’t make a difference if you go out of your way controlling something that you just can’t. That causes a whole lot of unnecessary stress and depression.

In fact, depression happens when you try to control things that are out of your hands. Additionally, that’s exactly what I’ve had to deal with, the “knowing that there are things that I can’t control” thing. Ever since then, I’ve tried to better understand the situations I find myself in and decipher whether or not it is something that is within my control.

Obviously, if it’s something like death, that’s something well out of my control.

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However, if it’s something regarding how I feel about another person doing something I don’t approve of them doing, I can’t control that and I can’t control how they choose to handle their situations… even if they ask me for advice about it. Just because I give advice on how they should handle things, doesn’t mean that I now have power or control over them.

Each person is allowed to live their life the way they want to, regardless of if they ask you for advice. If they choose to go the opposite route, that’s on them, not on you.

Another thing to keep in mind, is you can’t make everyone happy. So even though you have a control over things in your life, at the same time, you can’t control the way people react to the things you decide to do… and that’s always tough to understand.

You can’t control how they think or feel on a certain subject and… that’s life. Life puts you with people who believe in either similar or different things. As much as you want someone to see things the same way you do, it will never really be that way in some cases. You can’t make someone everything you want them to be, they’re their own person, and that’s way too much pressure to put on a person.

What’s the fun in being friends with a person who sees things the same way you do? That gets boring, really fast. .

As I’ve said before, there are things in our lives that we can’t control, but it’s all a matter of learning how to cope with that.

Since I have moments where I struggle with control, something that helps me (and may help you) is reciting the serenity prayer:

“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

I hope all of you have a wonderful week! Be sure to follow all my adventures on instagram!

Sending a ton of love and light your way,

Created By Ben Wild. All Rights Reserved
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