Hi hi hi friends! I hope everyone’s doing well! I’ve been so busy with finals, work and just everything at home, but I’m really happy to be back on here, sharing with all of you.
Before I begin, I’d like to ask you a question, just to get y’all thinking:
Have you ever wondered why things haven’t worked out?
Let me start off by saying that it is so easy for us to lose sight of the benefits that come out of things not working out.
It is so easy for us to be wrapped up in our own sorrow and despair, that we don’t see the good. We focus on the bad because we think that once something good comes along and leaves without a warning, we don’t look at this good thing as being temporary. We see it as the real thing that will last forever and ever.
We neglect to see that God and the Universe are working in our lives. Everything happens for a reason and we need to believe that there is something better coming. It’s little plot twists like that, that keep us on our toes!
I’m currently in a season where I’m starting to realize why certain things happened and it’s honestly a humbling experience. I’m realizing that while my journey has been convoluted, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
So now that we have that question answered, I’m going to explain why certain situations in my life didn’t work out-as I’d hope they would-and maybe you can relate in some way, shape or form! Let’s get started.
Situation #1: Going to school in Pennsylvania!
So I feel like my life began as soon as I graduated from high school. When I graduated from high school, I had committed to a school an hour away from home. The campus was pretty, the food was great, and it had pretty cool people. It was perfect.
Until I got homesick. Until I realized that the course of study I chose was one that required a lot of study-time. Until I gained 75 pounds. Until I realized I was falling behind and switched majors too late in the year.
I met a ton of great people, but I realized I had to leave because it wasn’t the right school for me. It may have been the right pace for other people, but for me, I needed to switch to something that wasn’t high paced. At the end of the day, I had to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t ready for the traditional 4-year university life. And that was very hard for me to accept, but through this experience I’ve met so many people that I never would have had the chance of meeting in my transitional phase—community college.
I ended up going to community college and really killing it. I realized that I could switch tracks and make the college experience work for me! Through that, I came out of this with my associates and with more clarity with what I want to do with my life! I may be a year behind the rest of my peers, but I learned that it doesn’t matter how fast you finish something, what matters is how much you learn in the process.
Situation #2: My relationships; romantic and otherwise!
So let’s start this one off with my romantic relationships. Clearly, none of them worked out… and all for a good reason.
The way it would always go with me is I would follow this pattern that went something like:
Become friends, exchange numbers, follow each other, text until dawn, and then hang out three times until either of us—most of the time, it was me—made the first move.
The reason why all my romantic relationships never worked out is because I’ve forced it. It’s no wonder my relationships never worked out! I’ve been forcing myself to have relationships long before I was even ready to have them.
At the end of the day, I’ve come to realize that if I really want something genuine and something beautiful, I’m going to have to wait for it. And while I wait I can do each of the following: focus on becoming a better me, accomplishing my goals and really evaluating what I value in a relationship.
With that being said, let’s move on to the ‘otherwise’ part of my relationships. More specifically, my old friendships.
My old friendships have either fizzled out or have abruptly stopped because of conflict.
Since then, I’ve actively learned how to foster a healthy friendship with the people I’m still friends with. There’s a reason why the friends in my life have come and gone. They have either fulfilled their role in a chapter of my life or I’ve come to realize that they weren’t helping me become the best person I could be.
Situation #3: My dating life!
So what makes this different from my previous situation?! This situation is actually my relationship formation stage before jumping into a romantic relationship.
Let’s face it, dating in your 20s is hard, y’all.
Because to me, it’s like I can’t really fuck around too much anymore like I did when I was a teenager.
If we want to talk about fucking around, I’ve had my fair share of tinder dates and pretending to not “look” for anything, in hopes of finding something. I did, however, find something, but that ended up being really short lived.
But the reason why my dating life hasn’t worked out, so far, is because for the first time in my life, I’ve been prioritizing my career and goals over having a relationship.
Which is crazy empowering. I’ve spent this semester interning at an amazing company, and through that I’ve been feeling extremely motivated to make a better life for myself, no matter what it takes.
My priorities are: God, school/career and family. That’s it for now and I don’t have a problem telling anyone who thinks otherwise.
May you continue to realize that there is always going to be a reason for why things don’t work out, why some do, and why things just fizzle out of nowhere. Everything happens for a reason. When you begin to rest on that, your whole mindset will shift.
Happy holidays, y’all!
Sending love and light your way,