Saying No

Hey All! I hope all is well with all of you. I have had a pretty eventful week! This past week I had a job interview, halloween came and went and I started physical therapy this week! So Lots of things are happening, leaves are changing and I am absolutely loving the colors of fall!

 

So one day while scrolling through Facebook, I watched this video about Lady Gaga and how she found a benefit in saying no, for the sake of her mental health. This meant saying no to…

  • anything that made her feel like she wasn’t worth anything
  • events where she was made to look like an accessory
  • events that had nothing to do with her values

It’s amazing how one simple word, a valid answer to just about any question, is enough to assert our wants and needs to the people who request them. What’s more is how powerful the use of ‘no’ is, it speaks volumes about who we are as individuals in different situations.

Too many times, we like to be seen as ‘yes’ people and I don’t know about you, but I often like to see myself this way, as well. ‘Yes’ people are the kinds of people who just don’t want to make it look like they’re giving up on the ones they care about, they go the extra mile and are willing to help someone out, even if their to-do list is already long. They find value in being consistent and hate letting people down.

But what I’m saying here is, it is totally okay to say no.

If you’re too busy dealing with your own responsibilities, it is okay to say no!

If you’re already overwhelmed as it is with life, it is okay to say no!

If you just don’t want to deal with people, because that happens too, it’s totally okay to say no!

For the sake of your own mental health. Anyone who doesn’t understand any of the above, is probably not the best person you should have in your life. You can still be the person for the people you love, if you take care of yourself. The people who genuinely see that, will push you to become a better you, in their own ways.

Saying no doesn’t have to be a bad thing, nor does it have to be a long and drawn out thing, either.

I know that a lot of times, we think that by just saying no, one of three things come to mind:

  • OMG, what are people gonna think when I decline?!
  • fuck, what’s (*insert person’s name here*) gonna say when I say no?!
  • Agh! (*so and so*) is going to hate meeee!

But… People tend to surprise us. Not everyone is going to react in the way that you anticipate they will. In this day and age, we rely on terms and legitimate things like a mental health day, me-time, treat-yo-self, etc. So it’s no surprise that people will understand the necessity of these terms.

We live in a society where everything is moving at rapid speed and it seems like everyone is just going with it, even at the expense of their mental health. What I’m saying, however, is you have a say. You can decide to put your foot down on anything you feel isn’t right. You set the pace for how fast or how slow your life is going.

We are human beings, not monotonous robots, for crying out loud! We have a say in the things that we want or don’t want.

Said in the words of both the great and late Maya Angelou: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

So If you don’t like your situation, or how it’s going, say no. Say no and look for another way to change your situation. In the event that you can’t find a way to change the situation, look for resources and vent away. Say no to things that make you uncomfortable, make you question your values, make you try to fit a mold you can’t fit, etc. Be in charge of you, because you matter.

Saying no, has its benefits, use them as needed and as necessary.

Sending a ton of love and light your way,

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here’s Gaga’s Video!

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. I really enjoyed reading this and it was right on time! I wrote a post similar to embracing saying “No” to others when I first started blogging two years ago and I STILL struggle with it. I also think it’s harder for women because we are socialized to put everyone’s needs before our own from a young age to not make people uncomfortable. I’m going to work on saying no more thanks to reading this and the friendly reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. karennx9728 says:

      Thanks for your input and for stopping by! I do believe that it has to do with the way we, as women, are brought up. I know that in a lot of cultures women are seen as submissive to a lot of norms, like getting married and having kids. Sometimes it’s almost as if we don’t really have a say in these situations, that we should conform to how society is and it all boils down to what we want and how we are able to communicate those needs and wants. I struggle with this too, but I love how this is put into perspective in terms of mental health. Much love✨👌🏽.

      Like

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