Lately, I’ve been in a reflecting mood. I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, but never really had the right words for it or the content that I needed to create this nice and down-to-earth post that I wanted to make for my readers (i.e you guys!).
I remember a lot of things from my adolescence, like where I went to high school and basically the gist of what I had experienced, but I couldn’t really tell you what happened during what time in my high school career. Thankfully, I dug up some photos from facebook and my old journals because writing has been a constant outlet for me since I could even remember.
Being older now, I see more things in a positive and realistic light. I am more motivated than I have ever been in my life. I am just starting out in my adulthood, I am paving the way for myself goal-wise and I have surrounded myself with the right people to make my goals happen, as well as push other people in the direction of their goals. I look at things now and how they will affect me mentally, physically, and emotionally in the long run. I’m so much more independent and happier.
However, when I was 15-16-17, I saw things differently. Now what you will see in this post is me talking to my younger self. Using the journals, that I have read through (somewhat), and looking at it now, as an older, wiser Karen, I’ll respond to the themes that I have seen play out through my adolescence. The whole purpose of this post is to shed light on somethings that I was going through and what I would say now, in response to the situations I was in.
so sit back, relax, and let’s get this show on the road…
I read your journal and I had an idea of what you were going through, but thank you for going into detail about your everyday life and what your emotional states are, they definitely help me understand you as a person. But, I’m gonna be honest with you girl, I was blown away at what you wrote. At times, I noticed that you were doing things then, that should have been left alone. It was hard to read about your experiences at times because, while they were simple and small, I see that they were very significant and made you feel like complete and utter shit. But, I see you, I understand you, and I’m writing this because you’d probably be in awe of the person typing up this letter.
Karen, you are amazing person, with this huge heart, beautiful smile and long hair. You deserve everything that is great in this world, and never settle for low-lives who make your world a living hell. I love you and these are things I wished you knew, growing up.
Surround yourself with people who see great potential in you.
Girls and guys alike. You are a fucking gem, who would go the distance for anyone and everyone, you open up your heart so easily to people, (quite frankly, I still even do it to this day!) because you want to be as honest, genuine and authentic as possible. KEEP DOING SO AND DON’T BE AFRAID. You are destined for greatness, but only if you surround yourself with the right people and the people who are going places, like college and beyond.
You are destined for greatness, so climb for your goals
In order to accomplish your goals, you have to work for them. Karen, you are capable of making your dreams happen. Don’t ever let anyone tell you or dictate to you that your goals are out of your reach, because anyone who says that, can leave. Be in the pursuit of what sets your heart on fire and your mind ablaze with vital life skills. You are in control. If you want to go after getting straight A’s, GO FOR IT, KID! The only person stopping you, is you.
You are Colombian, dammit, use that to your potential!
You have a good head on your shoulders, kid. Don’t waste your energy focusing on pointless things, like boys. You are strong, you are independent and you do whatever makes you happy.
Don’t go where everyone else has been, go down the road less traveled
You strive for originality, girl. I see it in your writing and it’s amazing to see. Follow through with it. You’re just as capable of paving new ways for yourself and if you have to go alone, THEN SO BE IT. Learn to be okay in standing alone in your goals, you know that there is always a person beside you, in front of you and above you. Rest on your faith and on your morals and you’ll be okay.
You are so, so, so Loved
Karen, do you see the people in your life? THEY ARE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON. They are your family, friends, mentors, instructors, they care about you. They see something in you, you’ll see that your friendship and loyalty to people are what matter in this world. You go the distance for the people who mean the most to you and that is a beautiful quality, Karen. Don’t waste your energy on petty bullshit, because in the end, no one really wins an argument, you’re just stuck in a hole with the person you were at odds with. You know who you are, so hold your head high, because you’re a boss.
Boyfriends and Friends, alike, will come and go
If it’s something I’ve noticed in your writings, amiga, it’s that you drive yourself mad overthinking about people who could care less about you. I get it, but you have to realize that as much as you’re growing, maybe you’re growing in a different direction than your friends AND THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY. GROW AWAY, learn all there is to learn about the things that you are interested in. You are what you attract. So continue to have good vibes, learn as much as you can from people. The people who really do care, will come into your life and the ones that don’t are better off not even staying in your life.
At the end of the day it boils down to you and how you feel about something. The only people here to stay is your family. Family is an integral part of who you are and be thankful that you have a family that cares and is willing to go the extra mile for you. Your parents are your biggest cheerleaders and will always be there giving you much needed advice. Be patient and learn from your parents, they’re almost always right.
Learn that it is better to let go of someone and the situation, than actually staying in it. I noticed that you stay in situations that aren’t ideal and they declined your mental health.
Love yourself enough to walk away. The right people will come in due time.
Life is a long journey and there should be no rush, control what you can, and let go of what you can’t.
With much love, light and better days ahead,