The ‘I Told You So’ Phenomenon

Hey y’all! So this past week, it’s been primarily rainy and gloomy in my area. However, yesterday was pretty great and I finally felt that spring feel. The feel where it’s not too cold, not too warm, but just right? That’s always the best feeling. Now that we’re entering April, it’s the start of gloomy weather. While it is great and all, I think I’d much rather have some 60 degree weather, right about now. But as the saying goes, “April showers bring May flowers”

Haha! Anyway, I’ve been noticing how we are so quick to point out other people’s shortcomings/red flags.

We, as a society, seem to actively look out for any ‘imperfection’ that we find out about someone. It’s like we wait for it, we stalk instagram, facebook, and any text or conversation about said person.

and when we find said imperfection…

We’re literally ITCHING to tell our best friend. Whenever you tell them this, it starts off a little like this: “So lemme tell you about this bitch…” Like when we see something that is out of our own experiences or out of our own beliefs, it’s automatically something worth talking about.

Hell, that’s how magazines make sensations, they report on things that are either divorces, marriages and even the occasional “what the fuck?” type stories ALL AMONG STARS. Just like magazine reporters and paparazzi, we’re actively making mental notes and pasting it to our personal weekly or even daily magazines. We are always up-to-date with what our favorite celebrities say or do on their social media platforms and interviews, that we kinda leave them with no room for error.

So when they step out of line or do something uncanny…

We scowl and laugh at their shortcomings.

On top of living to be able to point out and even call people out on the things they’re doing, when it all fails, we live to say ‘I told you so’ as if we were damn fortune tellers

Has it ever occurred to you that if said situation actually did work out for the person as they thought it would, where are we? I mean, we practically live to see the shortcomings of other people, but what does that say about us, if we were so sure, it was going to fail?

Why are we so quick to point out other people’s imperfections, when we already have some of our own? The moment that someone tells us about something we’re doing wrong or is a massive red flag, we get on the defensive. Depending on how each person reacts completely varies, but for the most part, we tend to be defensive and we try to justify why we do certain things.

and then we go so far as to reciprocate the same sentiment back to the person. Now shots have really fired, haven’t they?

So what do you do in a situation like this?

Realize that it’s coming from a good place

We all know how family members are quick to say something because believe it or not, we value their opinions. Even though they “grew up in a different time”, the same philosophies they have learned when they were our age, still apply to today. They’re honest because they know you (unless you’ve been estranged from your family for quite sometime) and want you to see yourself as a great individual.

However, Friends won’t tell it like it is… unless you have a serious problem. I have only a few good friends who are literally willing to give me and all out honest response. If a friend is willing to actually ROAST you on how you’re handling things, then you know you have a good friend. The good ones always bitch because they care.

Don’t Brush it off

On top of realizing people are coming from a good place (yes, even if they roast you, lol), take their criticisms into consideration. We aren’t perfect people and this part doesn’t imply any sort of perfectionism. What I am saying is we can work to become better people, in whatever way we can.

The important thing is that you listen to them. Have a positive outlook on it. Work towards becoming a better you and don’t read too much into what people are trying to say.

If your support system tells it like it is, points out what you’re doing wrong and how you can be better, I’d say that this is out of love. The people around you want to you to get to a point where you can be comfortable with making mistakes and learning from those mistakes, so that you can be better equipped to handle things head on. Your support system can be entirely friends, entirely your family, or both!

Definitely make it an effort to surround yourself with people who care about you and are willing to go the distance for you.

If you’re constantly withdrawing from your support system all because you can’t accept one little criticism, then who is really at fault? People won’t want to go the distance for you, if you don’t let them.

If you’re gonna blame everyone around you for the behaviors that you have, the mistakes that you continually make, that doesn’t serve you any good and it isn’t fair to the people who love you. You aren’t growing as a person in this way.

I read somewhere that the more we assume what other people think about us, the more we limit ourselves and our perspective of the world. 

Don’t beat yourself up

With whatever they tell you, just know that there is always room for improvement. Beating yourself up about something that you need work on, doesn’t help you grow either. It’s time to move on and see to it that you will take the steps needed to be better.

Step up. Learn about yourself and quit whining. That was me, roasting you.

You are a person full of worth and value, and the thing is: I see it in you. I don’t know everyone who reads my blog, but I do know this: each person in this world has worth. Each person is worthy of love, guidance, and all that is good in the world. I see your worth, but in order to make a difference in your life, you have to be able see it in yourself as well.

The bottom line is, it’s so easy to point out other people’s shortcomings, but we must not be so quick to point out theirs, if we know that we may do the same thing. We are not perfect.

Always stay mindful of the fact that you can always become a better person and can learn from the constructive criticism of other people. We’re works in progress and we learn each day something new about ourselves.

Thanks for stopping by!

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