Fear of The Future

Happy December, everyone! I’ve been so busy this past week, which was why I had LITERALLY no time at all to keep you guys updated on the next big thing! So I apologize, but I’m here now, so let’s talk!

Lately I’ve been doing things that plays roles in planning ahead. I’ve signed up for courses in Spring 2018, continued on my process of applying to colleges, applying for scholarships, among other things.

In the midst of all of this, however, I sense a familiar wave of emotion that kind of washes over me. Fear, if you will, of the future. The same fear that just paralyzed me and played an integral role in my depression the first time around. That same fear of the future, which made me realize that I would be going from a place where I knew where everything was and who my friends were, to a place where I didn’t know any of that and therefore, I would have to learn to do that all over again.

Learning new things and doing something different doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. It could be a positive experience for you. You’ll never know until you make that first step. I used to accept change with such grace, but what part of my anxiety and depression has affected was how I perceived change.

Now, big changes affect me, but that’s normal, right? People are affected in one way or another to big changes, like moving to a new city and going to school. For me, if I want change to happen in my life, I need it to be small and gradual. Of course, in this fast paced world we live in, nothing ever comes small or gradual, it comes at us the size of a train going 150 mph.

But I’ve learned that we cannot be afraid of that change. We must accept it and learn to face this fear, embrace it, and live our lives. The future is in another dimension, it’s something that we prepare for. Why should we be fearful of it? We spend years preparing for a job that we want, we take all the courses necessary to be able to do all things in an appropriate and ethical manner, we prepare ourselves for the degree we want.

As I’ve said before, it is normal to be afraid of the future, because that fear is the same fear that helps us and motivates us. This fear is the one where you actually care about being successful in the future. Paralyzing fear, however, has been known to be detrimental for you. You care too much and you literally cant sleep because, on top of caring too much, you are also thinking about it too much. Instead of working for us, it works against us and we work for it, fueling any insecurities we may have about ourselves. In reality, you don’t have to overthink your future successes, no one is telling you to detail every aspect of your future. Only you are ingraining that into your mind. I mean, think about it, if we were to narrow everything down in our future down to a T, where does that leave the present? Where are you now? What’s even more, is if all of us think too profoundly into the future, imagine how high our stakes are.

Imagine having only one aspiration that leads you to a house, family, etc., what are the odds that it might change? We shouldn’t have to hold one general idea or one general goal and expect that same goal to be the same. For example, for many years, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor or something along the lines of the field of medicine. I would watch all these medical shows and be fascinated at the knowledge of doctors in their fields. But then in my Junior year of high school, I wanted to be a Physical Therapist, I had my plan figured out, I would major in bio then apply for a seat in the Physical Therapy program at the college that I would go to. By the time I got to my senior year of high school, I wanted to become a Physician Assistant(PA), so I toured schools looking for a perfect fit in their Pre-PA majors. I didn’t really find it. So that’s when I resorted to Nursing. When I applied to a school for Nursing, I got my acceptance letter, buuut… I wasn’t exactly in the Nursing program, I was Undeclared-Nursing, which meant that I would be taking a course that was required of all first-year nursing majors and I’d have to work my way up into the Nursing program. I ended up switching my major the second semester of that same year. The reason why I took too long in realizing that working in the medical field just wasn’t for me, was because I was still stuck in that mindset of holding one general idea about myself and my future. When I realized this, I thought to myself, “what would my life be like if I wasn’t a nurse?” “What other job is out there?”.

Fast forward to now, I am happy to see how far I have come and how this experience has led me to where I am. I’m a Communications major with a focus in Marketing and I am looking to get my MBA in Marketing, as well. My dream is to work in Digital Marketing and hopefully contribute to the overall growth of sales and provide ideas for more traffic on certain sites.

The fact of the matter is this: You can plan for your future all you want, you are entitled to how you feel about it, too, but always be open to what life throws at you. Don’t ever feel like you have one set choice. In this life, we have an unlimited amount of choices and it’s up to us to find one that suits our goals. All of this is meant to give you perspective in this life, mapping out your future is a good way to start gaining some perspective, but don’t go overboard. Enjoy your present and be open to your future.




Dear Best Friend

Dear Best friend,

I’ve been thinking about you for quite a bit and it sucks that you live in another state, but I’m always here for you. You are hard-working, smart and brilliant, you amaze me with your ability to remember and recall things you have read. Lately, it seems like you’ve been pretty distant. Based on what has happened in the past, I get it. You have a tough time trusting people and when you do finally open your heart up to someone, especially a guy, you feel like you’re walking on air, because for the first time in your life you feel understood, validated. You shouldn’t feel validated by someone who just gives you the time of day, you should be finding that from inside of yourself.

Believe that you are worth more, that you are blessed beyond measure with a support system, and that you deserve the best. Learn to love yourself first before searching for a man who will give you that same satisfaction. I mean, think about it, how are people going to love someone who does not love themselves first? How can you want a love that everyone else has with their significant others, when you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself? I love you, but I cant make you see the way I love you, if you are not willing to see the beauty in yourself.

Don’t feel hurt by your past. The past is a lesson learned and it doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. The past is what makes us human, it makes us stronger, it molds us into the people we strive to be for tomorrow. The way I see it, that while the past is a mixture of good and bad things, you have a choice. You can choose to be afraid of the future and angry at the past or you can choose to be proactive and push forward, eager to see where the future takes you. You cannot be mad for what has happened. As the saying goes “whatever has happened, happened”, therefore whatever happened in the past, cannot be altered, changed, or deleted. You can’t go back and change it because what has happened, happened for a reason. As I’ve said before, do not look down at your past mistakes, situations, etc, those serve as a purpose to educate you, a chance for you to learn about yourself and the people involved. Past mistakes can be made into positive triumphs, but they cannot be made into positive triumphs if you continue paralyzing yourself over what has already happened. Enough! You’ve done all you could in the situation, if it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out!

You need to surround yourself with people who really see your worth and see you for the amazing person you really are, because you deserve it. You deserve to be free from your hellish demons, that whisper a lie to you every time you don’t perform up to par. Don’t let them win, don’t give them the power to alter your reality. Instead, ground yourself with the utmost truth, that you matter and the world is better a betterplace with you in it.  God made you in His image and likeness. Why would you think of yourself, otherwise? He makes no mistakes. You are my best friend and I want to see you conquer these demons and come out on top, for once.

But you won’t be able to conquer these demons in your head and the stresses of life, unless you become equipped to fight for the life you want to live.

Sending Strength and Love,


How to Get On the Right Path In Your Life This Year

Hello there! It’s been a while since I last blogged! I’ve been meaning to write something like this since the New Year started! So without further ado! HA-HA. I present to you, my readers, ways on how YOU can get on the right path and where you want to be, in terms of your life, this year and how you can achieve the goals you’ve had for a while, but have not known where to start. I just want to say that I am beyond excited for the new adventures this year holds and of course what God has in store for all of us (because believe it or not, He grants us awesome adventures, too!) So lets get started!

So if you’re bored most of the time and feel that you have nothing to do, other than instagram, snapchat, facebook, twitter, repeat. Then you should look for a hobby!

Hobbies can be anything you want them to be, you can take knitting classes, crochet classes, painting classes, etc. OR if you are a make-up fiend like me, sign up for some beauty classes at Sephora, they’re completely free to all beauty rewards members!

There are tons of things for you to do and for you to learn!

Try making a dreams poster, if you ever feel lost in your life and you need something that keeps you grounded, this is definitely a craft for you. All you need is poster paper, and at the center of this you put your support system(it can be your friends, family members, anyone who makes you feel good) and to the upper right hand corner, as well as downwards you put any academic goals( so if you want to transfer or graduate from a specific university, put it on there; if you want to get your bachelors and doctorate, then you put that there). If you have any careers you’re dreaming about, but don’t know where to start, put down a couple that interest you in the bottom right hand corner. Then on the bottom left hand corner put all the places you want to travel to at some point in your life. Finally, on the top left hand corner put people you look up to as well as other aspirations, like having a family, living in a big house, etc. etc. Most of all, have fun with this!

If you’re someone like me, who loves to learn new things and immerse themselves in unique experiences, then I recommend that you go to a conference.

About two weeks ago, I went to a Social Justice conference at my school. We talked about a myriad of issues in today’s society, most of which we know about and are always looming over us as young adults. The main purpose of this program was to bring to mind the different issues among many ethnicities and how we can respond to those indifferences in our society. Ethnicities was a major part of what we talked about and we stemmed from that to talk about different issues that bother us in our everyday lives, like the stigma of mental health, sexual orientation, and differences in privilege, mainly how that varies from person to person, based on their race/ethnicities, socioeconomic class, age, among many other things. After that event, I can sincerely and honestly say that I actually learned something and got something out of attending an awesome event! I gained a lot more insight and awareness in terms of diversity. I got to hear many stories, ideas, along with different points of views, that were definitely well-articulated. This conference really helped me open my eyes to not only the issues in our society, but how thankful I am to have experiences like these. Experiences that make you realize ” wow, I am so blessed to be able to go to school with people who recognize the similar issues that we-of a different race-all go through” , or that being surrounded with a group of people who think outside of the box and offer interesting new insights to how we can solve the problems that we as young people, being exposed to this first hand, whether it be working our way through college, dealing with financial aid, scholarships, racism, etc. It’s then that you realize how amazing and valuable each opinion is. I met so many new people that day who think and have similar beliefs as me and really enjoy learning new things in just about anything!

Next goal, if you want to get fit, toned and ready for summer 2k17, then I recommend that you consult with a doctor or a person who knows a great deal about nutrition and exercise and if you’d like to take it a step further, enroll at a gym!

As with anything that takes some time to get used to, getting up early and hauling your ass to a local gym is tough at first, but keep in mind that consistency is key. The more consistent you are with going to the gym, the more it becomes a habit. Just because you worked out in the morning on one day, doesn’t mean you should follow that same schedule. It is completely up to you. If you’re more of a night time work-out person, that is completely okay. If you want to alternate between days, like one day go in the morning, another day go at night, you can do that! That is your choice! I’m more of a wake-up-early-get-gym- over-with-kind of person haha. But given the schedule I have this semester, I’ve gotten flexible with my hours.

Make sure that you are eating healthier, sleeping well, and choosing healthier substitutes to your everyday diet. When you workout, you should not be eating like crap. I mean it’s good to treat yo’self to a good dessert or cheat meal every once in a while, but always remember moderation is key when it comes to eating right. As far as I know, if you want results, make the necessary changes to your diet. Something as small as giving up soda, is just as good as choosing a salad over cookies. Again, I am not a doctor, so therefore I cannot say what you should and shouldn’t eat or what absorbs what at the molecular level. The choice is completely up to you and your fitness goals.

Whatever you decide to do this year, whether its discover a new hobby, working out/ getting to a new lifestyle, or making the decision to go back to school, remember to always have a positive attitude while doing so. I understand that, in this day and age, its like

“how the hell is that possible?!”

Well, it’s actually easier than you think. The key is to notice when you are getting negative thoughts, that contribute to a negative attitude, and try to counteract those with positive thoughts and attitudes.

Just be happy, don’t look for another reason why you shouldn’t be. Be happy with the fact that you are going to become a newer person by the time 2017 ends. You will have learnt new things and actually have different attitudes on things that once either bothered you or dissuaded you. Make this year, the year YOU become happy. If you’re happy when you’re looking for a new hobby, or a new workout plan, GO FOR IT! I am behind you 100% in anything positive and worthwhile you want to immerse yourself in. Just as long as you’re happy doing your own thing, thats all that should really matter. Anything positive that you want to do in your life or anything that you want to change for the better? Do it. Do it with an eager heart and a positive attitude.

Salud y Fuerza!

(Health and Strength)





Self-Validity in the Eyes of God


Hey there! It’s been a long time since i last blogged on here. So let’s talk about one of the most important subjects that are pretty personal: Self-Validity in the Eyes of God. So what is self-validity? Well to me, it means knowing who you are and realizing that you are a person worth of love. Which brings me to another point… I really hate seeing girls continuously letting themselves  be defined by the opinions of other guys. So what? Who gives a fuck about their opinions? The only opinion who you should care about is from the one from above. Self-worth doesn’t come from external sources like how many likes you get or how many guys you’ve slept with. Just because you didn’t get as many likes you wanted doesn’t mean that it makes you worth less than who you are. You are you. If people don’t like your photo, who gives a shit. There are more important things than yourself in this world. I really hate seeing people lose sight of this. I hate when they live their lives according to what other people think. It shouldn’t matter. Why? Because you are an individual, and individuals live their lives on their own terms. What people think about you shouldn’t matter. If you form your thoughts around how people see you and what they think about you, you will become depressed. Yeah everyone will still have their opinions, but what will only matter is what you think about yourself. Once you know that, you then find out who you are and you learn to love who you are.

It has taken a really long time to realize my self-worth and to forget about what people think about me. I think it took me a while to learn to love who i am. I learned to accept every part of myself, the physical, emotional, and mental parts of myself. I didn’t think there was such a thing as loving yourself, i thought it was a joke, but it really isn’t, it’s possible to love yourself for the person you are. I think everyone is beautiful in their own ways, but sometimes those people don’t even see it. And that hurts me. Because i used to be that way. People would say that i’m beautiful all the time, but i would never bring myself to believe it. Whenever i got down on myself and broke down crying, my mom would always tell me how beautiful i am and how i should learn to love who i am. Confidence is sexy. I became more confident in my freshman year of college. I mean, senior year was the year i became confident, but i fell under a dark depression towards the end of that year.

I believe that once you become confident, the boys start to line up to get with your confident self

That’s another thing. Only get into a relationship when you’re confident with who you are. Too many times, i have seen people who aren’t confident with themselves, get into relationships in hopes of having the person they’re going out with , to like them the way they are. The thing is, you cant make someone love you the way you don’t love yourself. How’s that even possible? It isn’t. When you’re in a relationship, you have to be confident, with what you want out of the relationship, what you want with the person, and above all, confident with yourself. When you’re not confident with any of the things i’ve listed, you’re simply not fit for a relationship. That’s through no fault of your own, you gotta know what you want and who you want and why you want what you want in a relationship.

Oh and respecting yourself too. When you learn to respect yourself, a magical thing happens, people see that and they begin to respect you are you respect yourself. Funny, huh? It takes you to get people to respect you. Respecting yourself also stems from knowing who you are and what you want out of a relationship. When you respect yourself, it shows how beautiful you are and how you demand to be treated. And how you are not one to fuck around with, but how you are one to fuck with.


Okayy Thats all Folks!


Lord grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


God Bless, My brothers and Sisters in Christ!



My Definition of Success

All throughout my life I have seen success in so many ways. Whether it be in a small milestone, or in a team that finally achieved their goals in winning a game, or even seeing someone you love finally get that degree they have worked so hard to earn. I have seen it all. My family has always told me the importance of success, especially my dad. Throughout my life, I’ve realized that achieving success isn’t always easy but that in the end, it would be worth it. I aspire to get my associates in communication, continue my studies in communication with a focus in public relations to obtain my bachelor’s and ultimately my masters of fine arts in visual arts. I aspire to become a creative director of a magazine or a movie. For that, I realize that I’d have to work my way up and make connections along the way. Remember: success also means that you need to network along the way, it’s all about making yourself well known.

 I know that with God, the success He will give me will be well worth it The bible talks about success in the book of phillippians. In Phillippians 4:13, it reads ” I can do all things through which God will strengthen me”. That’s powerful. We can do all things we are capable of doing through God! Praise Him! I ask that god may grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

God bless you all on this somewhat muggy, yet beautiful day!