Losing Weight: The Part No One Talks About

Hey guys so this past week, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was just a check up and to see if I still needed to get a vaccine.

So I get my height, weight, and eye sight checked by the nurse. The usual. Then I was redirected to an examination room where I could wait for the doctor. So I sit there waiting for the doctor, and since I was the only one in the office, the doctor came by pretty quick.

They look at my chart on their laptop and notices that I gained 5 pounds.

*GASP* “Karen, you gained FIVE pounds?!”

and without missing a beat I said, “it’s probably just muscle because I’ve noticed my legs have gotten more toned.”

To which the doctor responds, “Yeah, but your BMI is a ____. You’re ‘overweight’ for your height”

Simply put, I was called fat. When CLEARLY I am not.

Family vacation in Bermuda (December 2017)

They brought up the literal Body Mass Index chart. In my opinion, that chart is a messed up construct used to classify people by how fat/overweight they are. No one uses that when they’re talking about their weight, like I don’t go around saying ” I’m a *insert bullshit BMI chart number here*”. In fact, no one really knows what those standards are and if I were to ask someone what their BMI is, do you think they would know? NO.

We live in not just a body sensitive world, but also a body positive one.

Body sensitive, in that now, what you communicate to a patient or anyone can have profound effects on their mental/emotional mindset as well as their own perception of themselves. There are some people who cannot have their weight be said out loud or who refuse to have their weight being done for a doctors check up because of this.

This is all in reference to a psychological theory called Social Comparison Theory(SCT). SCT is when you see where you stack up in a group and how there are certain attributes that you latch onto. So say someone says “you’re very gorgeous and you would make a man very happy”, you tend to latch onto this attribute of being very gorgeous. You find yourself in a group with other gorgeous people and you see where you stack up from “gorgeous” to “not gorgeous”. When you see that you don’t even stack up in said group, then you leave the group and see where you stack up in another.

This happens a lot more on social media. So you are still latched onto the “gorgeous” attribute, so when you go on sites like Instagram and Facebook, you actively start searching for gorgeous looking people and therefore seeing if you even compare to these Instagram models.

When we focus too much on that and we don’t see that we can compete with this standard of beauty, what happens is we internalize an awful load of negativity about ourselves, causing depression, cutting, and eating disorders.

But… We also live in a body positive world where there is now, more than ever, a light being shone on mental health illnesses and eating disorders. There are CELEBRITIES who struggle with mental health illnesses and are verbal about their ongoing struggles. There are communities that you can join that are centered around positivity and spreading awareness of these things. Which is amazing.

Losing weight isn’t something that should be taken lightly. While it is easy to say, it’s very hard to do, because it’s all part of the emotional and mental process of being consistent with diet and exercise.When that doctor basically told me I was “overweight” for my height, I thought HOW?


  • Go to the gym about 3 or 4 days a week, as my schedule permits
  •  do loads of cardio followed by lifting weights
  • When I eat out, I try to eat healthier alternatives
  • But at the same time, I don’t deprive myself of some good chocolate chip cookies, fraps, or other delightful snacks.
  • I try not to eat too much bread in one day

In my eyes, I think I am healthy. I don’t really pay attention too much to my weight because it does INCREASE and FLUCTUATE.

I am healthy and have come a long way from where I was since my freshman year of college.

I was dorming and I was at a school that was out-of-state. It was maybe my first time being away from home for a long period of time. Prior to me living on campus, I was taking medication that opened up my appetite and helped me get on a good sleeping pattern. The only problem was, it was my freshman year and the freshman 15 was in full swing. Only I didn’t gain the freshman 15, I GAINED THE FRESHMAN 45!

here I am with a public speaker that was at my school (March 2016).

Where I went to school, they practically fried anything AND everything they could get their hands on. Hey, it’s not their fault, they were trying to appeal to the mainstream college student.

But I would soon realize that losing weight was a hard and grueling thing for me to overcome. I realized that it wasn’t as easy as it was back in high school, where I could scarf down fries for lunch and then head to my gym class to burn it off.

I found out that I had an anxiety to eat, whenever,  wherever. In order to combat it, I had to internalize 3 questions…

  • Was I actually hungry?
  • Was I bored?
  • What is a healthier alternative to what I’m craving?

Once I got that under control and was able to rationalize my eating habits, I was able to schedule and work going to the gym AROUND my schedule.

To up my self-esteem a bit, I learned some yoga/meditation and booked a photo shoot with really good photographer and friend. (I’ll put the link to her work at the bottom of the post!)

Granted, I am not a perfect person. I fell victim to wanting to drop in weight every week, but sometimes my weight loss journey came with a lot of setbacks, which I learned is okay. Those setbacks were designed to motivate me further towards a healthier lifestyle, without constantly depriving myself of ice cream and cookies.

here I am at a place called the Gorge in New Hampshire (September 2016).

Losing weight is more than just the appearance. It’s more about how you feel. If you don’t feel okay, then do something to change it. Work towards a healthier and happier you, without taking drastic measures to see where you fit. Working towards a healthier and happier you doesn’t necessarily mean lose or gain weight, it could just mean that you are working towards a better version of yourself, starting from what’s inside and being able to project how you feel about yourself, outwards.

You are enough.

Fancy Dinner with some of my friends (January 2018)

For more of Lin’s work, check out her wix site Here!

Living Life With Arms Wide Open

Happy New Year, guys! I am so excited for what 2018 will bring, I really hope that this year brings a ton of positive energy, lots of love, and light in all of your lives. may you accomplish the goals you have set out for yourself this year.

So, I recently got back from vacation with my family. One day, while we were out to eat, we were talking about a ton of interesting things, mainly things that we were thankful for, opportunities we never had, people in our family that we admire and the like. In the midst of the conversation, I thought about a song I had heard earlier that day called “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield, more specifically I thought about the lyrics, in one part:

Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

The part that I put in bold was something that was bouncing around in my head. Living your life with arms wide open. The wording and meaning is pretty self-explanatory, but on that day it meant so much more to me for some reason. Maybe it was the topic that we were on. Maybe it was the fact that my younger sibling and I are two different people with different approaches to life. Now, I’m not saying there is a so-called right approach to life, because the way one person goes about their life isn’t the way another person would go about their own.  The way I see it, there is no right or wrong way to approach life.

My approach to life is taking advantage of opportunities and making the best of these opportunities. I’m someone who doesn’t let anything steer me away from the things that I want to do. In some respects, I’m fearless and try to live in the moment, I might even want to try to document the moment, because that’s the kind of person I am. I’m always down for an adventure with just about anyone, immersing myself in new and exciting experiences that aren’t really seen everyday. I’m loud. I’m crazy. Like I said before, there are no rules when it comes to how you’re enjoying your life.

I get this approach to life from my mom. One of the things that I love about my mom is how she lives her life with arms wide open. When I thought about those lyrics on that day, I didn’t just think about the literal term of living with your arms wide open, I thought about it a different way. To me, it means how you are able to live your life with an immense amount of love in your heart. How you can just open yourself up to feeling something real. How you can live everyday knowing it could be your last. More importantly, it brings into perspective of freeing yourself from all doubts and your insecurities.  You should be able to walk through life confidently, not letting anyone tell you how you should be living your life. Be thankful for yourself, for being present with yourself (gosh, I’m starting to sound like a yoga instructor).

Make every opportunity to be there for yourself the same way that you’re there for the amazing people in your life. Believe in yourself.

Make goals towards being a better you. Do things that you really love. Do what makes you happy. If you have trouble finding what makes you happy, then make it your goal this year to find what it is that makes your heart beat a little faster and brings a smile to your face.

New Years’ Resolutions don’t have to feel unattainable to keep. They just require work, as with anything that you want in this world. If you want something, a change, for example, then you need to put in the work for it to happen. You can’t expect anything to come to you, if you don’t try. Make it your goal to try and to work at what you really want. You want that new job/internship? Apply. You want to get fit and toned, like your fit role models? Put in more time at the gym and eat right. You want to get on the dean’s list this upcoming semester? You better hit the books and study. The list could go on, but when you think about it, these are all simple solutions to your goals.

I think what makes our resolutions feel unattainable are our expectations. Sometimes we get discouraged because we want results *snaps fingers* like that. The truth is, though, life doesn’t work out like that. You need to also learn how to be patient with yourself. Once you become patient with yourself and you hone in on how you can achieve those goals, you are then able to stay consistent with your goals.

Here’s my rule of thumb on how you can keep our New Year’s Resolutions in check, write them down and keep them in a place where you can always find them. I wrote mine down and I left the list on my desk where I can always refer to them.

But most of all, make your goal to live your life with arms wide open. Be open to new things this year. Achieve new things this year. Become a better person. Grow. Learn something new about yourself. Do more of what you love. Spend time with people who really see the amazing person you are. Live simply and strive for happiness in whatever it is that brings a smile to your face. Live for today.

Anything is possible. Sending lots of love and light your way.

Why I Blog

Hey guys, I know its been a while since I posted my last blog post and I’ve been pretty busy this past weekend, but I am so happy to be back on here and just post my thoughts.

So without further-ado, I’m gonna talk about Why I blog.

This idea came from watching Demi Lovato’s new Documentary called “Simply Complicated”. In it, Demi talks about her early childhood, how her singing and acting career took off, and more importantly how her mental illness all started as well as, where she is today. Demi talks candidly and unashamed about the events in her life, which was very eye opening to see in a girl who basically had to grow up in the spotlight. She opened up about how and when she started with drugs and alcohol, as well as her sobriety and how it really hasn’t been easy, but how it has been worth it. But the one thing I was able to resonate with the most and the one thing I am going to hone in on, was the fact that she deals with bipolar disorder, or manic depression, and how she was able to find her outlet in music.

From a young age, Demi was always involved in or with music, to her it was this thing that really kept her sane, it was her outlet and I find that to be absolutely amazing and impressive. The thing about bipolar disorder is that the people who suffer from it, they tend to have mania, or manic episodes where they will throw themselves into one thing and will spend countless hours doing the one thing they love or want to do. So for Demi, it was staying up all night making music. For people going through this it’s something that while it is a manic episode, sometimes they have no memory of said manic episode.

While watching this, I remembered a couple of times of when I  struggled with my depression. When I had depression the first time around, I remember not wanting to do anything and not wanting to do anything that would eventually help me in the long run. I felt like I didn’t have any options and felt completely and utterly hopeless. In the midst of the cloud of depression I was under, I managed to find one outlet, and that outlet became writing. Much like Demi, if I really needed someplace to vent, I would go to my journal and just try to write anything.

But unlike Demi, I wouldn’t sing, I would just write until my hand got tired. To me, there were no rules that were associated with writing in my journal, it was something that I learned throughout my recovery process. Writing wasn’t just something that I picked up during a time of need, for me, it was always there. Ever since I was about eight years old, I remember just being so fascinated with writing that I would write about things that happened to me on a daily basis. Writing became more enforced when I was a high school sophomore and I had this awesome English teacher who made all of his classes have a marble composition notebook.  In them we could write about anything, he would even have essay prompts up on the board. So when I was given that freedom, at 16, I knew I had to run with it. Writing’s been the most constant thing in my life, friends and boyfriends may have come and gone, but my writing has been something that has always stayed with me.  I am so happy that I get to use it as a tool to not only reach out, but also as a cathartic way to let my emotions out.

Writing began to have a big impact in my life and it was this moment where I decided to turn my writing into blogging and blog about my thoughts on various things. When I first started out blogging, I was in my freshman year of college. I remember feeling the need to vent, to write out something, and I just went for it, I blogged about the first things I could think of, which was about how I dealt with depression, panic attacks and the importance of success (if you want to read the first posts I made on here, I will put the links at the bottom of this post!). I remember feeling really happy after telling my story and wanting to tell everyone I knew at the time, about this new thing I discovered, called blogging. To every person who passed my way, I would promote my site to them and tell them, “Hey! Read my blog!”, I think I still do that today, but mainly over the social media and I’ll ask a select few friends what their thoughts were while reading it.

One of my main goals, is to create a blog, have people read it and feel empowered by what I write.  I find a clearer meaning in something that either bothers me or something that I really care about.  I really hope that telling my story will help other people in similar situations too. I thank God everyday for giving me an amazing outlet and I hope that He helps you find your way through other creative outlets! Mine just happens to be writing, but for you it could be anything. An outlet is something that really takes your mind off of the stressors in your life and can be super cathartic, examples include, but are not limited to: art, photography, dancing, working out, writing, coding, sketching, editing photos, singing, writing your own songs, driving, making food, baking, going outside, and many more!

With writing, I am able to feel sane and comfortable in myself, knowing that I have a voice. When you find your voice through any outlet, the benefits can truly be life changing. Make the decision to find your voice through your own outlet and you’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish in your life.

So my questions for all of you are:

What are your outlets? How did you discover them?


Heres the link to some of my first blog posts!

My Definition of Success

An Inside Look at Depression

Panic Attacks: What’s the Big Deal?

Also here is the link to Demi’s documentary on youtube!


If you or someone you know is suffering a mental health illness or is struggling with drug/alcohol addiction, please reach out!

Suicide Hotline: Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or log on to your browser and contact a trusted mental health professional, you are not alone in this and if you really do need help, please do not hesitate to pick up the phone!

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration(SAMHSA):  https://www.samhsa.gov/




Making The Best Out of Your Current Situation

We’ve all been there. That shitty part of life where you feel like nothing is going the way you want, where all you wanna do is curl up in a ball and role into a hole, never to be seen again. I get it. We are human and we are bound to fail one way or another, but that shouldn’t make you want to throw in the towel when life gets shitty or tough. No, you fight for the life you want to live because, well, it becomes well worth it when you make an effort to be mindful about the situations that you find yourself in. Always inculcate an idea of “that’s all you got, life?! BRING. IT. ON. I’M READY FOR YOU!!!” Taking on a boss ass attitude really shows how resilient you can be, it shows your ability to bounce back from whatever life throws at you. 

      Throughout my life, mind you I’m only 20, I’ve met a great deal of people who have gone through hell and back in their lives and the one question I always have for them is “how were you able to go through what you have been through?” Some of the responses I’ve gotten were “well I had no choice, but to move forward”, “I chose to look at the positive/mindful in my life”, “I focused on one thing and that one thing got me through my tough time” that one thing could’ve been his/her ticket that took them out of the situation and into a better life that they provide for themselves. Uh, yeah I’ll take a one way ticket to get me the FUCK outta here. Ha! Totally kidding. By ticket, I don’t mean a physical ticket where you can take the midnight train going anywhere *cue Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believin'” *.

 What I mean by ticket is that, symbolically, it means something valuable, irreplaceable, even, to different people. Having that ticket, to them means the absolute world, it is something that they will work towards in order to obtain that golden ticket. Having a ticket also means that it instills a drive, a drive to make their lives better, a drive to become an inspiration to those around them, and ultimately, a drive to grow as a person.

In life, you have two decisions to make after having a bad day or a bad situation, all together: you can either give up, stop trying all together, and hold on to that anger OR you can get back on your feet, say “HEY LIFE! IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT?!”, And remain mindful about the situation you’re in and try again tomorrow. It’s just a bad day, not a bad life. We’ve all had our own share of bad days and bad situations, but should that stop us? NO. Of course not. 

I’ve had my fair share of drama, my fair share of my bad days. Whether it be with boys, with friends, or with my own family members, it’s all been temporary. The people in my life have come, gone and some things have gotten better, while others were better left alone. For the record, those horrible situations didn’t break me. They made me stronger. They helped mold me into the person I am. Through all of these bad days, I have learned something very valuable about myself and about the people who put me in the shitty situation to begin with. I’ve gained so much perspective and have been able to focus all my energy in being mindful about the situations I find myself in. I used to lock myself in a situation and just think ” well shit. I’m in this situation, so I’m just gonna sit here and do nothing and wait till there’s a solution” . 

 If I were to give my teenage self any advice, it’d be this: You do not find a solution by just sitting on your ass and twiddling your thumbs waiting for something to happen! You find your solutions by looking for one! Don’t stop until you’ve found every possible solution for your situation. My mom taught me this important concept and I almost hate to admit it, but she is right. What good are you gonna do if you just sit and become afraid of the situation you’re in? Nothing! Get up and look for a solution.  You could have it worse, but you don’t! When I was a teenager, I thought every bad day would define who I am or who I would become. Looking back at it, it really doesn’t. What it does define, however, is your outlook or perspective. Coming out of each situation, your attitude changes.

How you react to the situation is based on your attitude and how you choose to react, is up to you. 

 How were you able to overcome a difficult situation? Was it your attitude or was it the people who helped you?

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control the way you think about all the events”

10+ Things To Be Grateful For 

In life, we are often caught up in what we have to do, as far as our studies and careers. We become so accustomed to our daily routines: wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, leave for work, work, have dinner, sleep, repeat. But the problem is when we get too accustomed to our everyday routine, it becomes boring and it almost becomes unenjoyable. The sad reality is most people get so caught up in this routine of what they have to do and what needs to be done, that they often take things for granted. Sometimes even among college students, our lives consist of eat. sleep. attend class. work. study. repeat.

What I’m trying to say is we get so caught up in our daily lives, that we forget about the important things in our lives, like our dreams and aspirations. So let me just start off by saying this we all get wound up in our routines that we don’t realize the little things in life. Instead of focusing on things we already have, we get caught in things we want. It’s so easy to get wound up in that mentality,yet we don’t realize it until we think about our blessings.

Which brings me to this question:

What are you going to do differently in 2017?

So the following is translated from Spanish. I hope I made sense with the overall messages behind these objects.

The ceiling: do you know what I look at when I wake up in the morning? The ceiling. What does the ceiling symbolize, the endless possibilities and the ability to continue succeeding to the fullest of my ability. 

The window: showed me that one has to observe and enjoy the marvelous things the universe has to offer

The watch/clock: showed me that each second and minute is valuable!

My Mirror: taught me that one should always auto examine themselves before acting and not to fall under the pessimism that everything is passenger.

My calendar/planner: taught me that I should stay up-to-date and to live in the moment. The past and the future have not yet existed, so why should I worry about something that has either happened, is done and over with, or has not happened and is yet to occur?

The door: taught me to open my heart and mind to go after the goals that I have not yet achieved. That God has me entrusted and has my best interests at heart.

The Floor: taught me to get on my knees each morning and never forget to pray to God who is the one who gives us everything we have/ need so that we can live how He desires for us and our families.

Simplified version:

Be thankful for the amazing support system in your life. Be thankful for the opportunity to wake-up  in the morning. Be thankful that you are working towards your education. Be thankful that you have a job. Be thankful for the ability to walk, talk, and move around. Be thankful for the ability to love, to have feelings and passions, because without them we are nothing. Be thankful for your health. As sad as it is, there are people in our world, that have it worse than you. There are people out there who would kill for the opportunity to wake up in the morning with no ailments that restrict them from living life. Ultimately, Be thankful and stop complaining about your life, because there is always someone (in general) who has it worse than you. There is always someone who may have it worse, but chooses to look at things from a different and often positive perspective.

“Find a good happy place. A positive one” – Shonda Rhimes, author of Year of Yes









Time: Has It Become More Than Just a Word?

Hey, guys! Its been a really long time since I’ve blogged on here. There’s so much going on with school! By the way, How long has it been since i’ve posted my last entry?! LOL. Alright lets get down to business! So lately, I’ve been thinking about time. Time has become something so significant. It’s almost crazy to think that days, months, years go by within just a blink of an eye.  How does one even fathom that? Time goes on sometimes and we don’t even realize it, its kinda like- oh, shit, i lost track of time, now on to my other thing i need to do-. I really don’t want to sound like some old-timer, but its because we focus too much on social media and it could be why we cant accomplish much with the constant incessantness of social media. Imagine the amount of time we spend on social media in a day, and subtract that from the time in a day…. That is a lot of time “wasted”.  Don’t get me wrong, its not like I’m completely against social media, its great, but there has to be a chance for you to breathe, and then go back in.

Speaking of time “wasted”, are there times where you feel like there isn’t enough time in a day to do what you want to do? In other words, do you end up feeling like you did less than what you initially set out to do? Maybe we make a to-do list and hope we accomplish each of the tasks we intend to do. Anyway, i’ve recently noticed that when we worry about the things we have to do and the time it takes to do all of it, on top of trying to do it right, it often causes unnecessary anxiety and stress. So simply, just focus yourself on doing the things you need to do and nothing else. The more you become productive in doing something as simple as studying for that exam and doing work, among other things, the more focused you become on your success. In a way, being productive with your time is a way for you to use you time wisely.

Now I’m not saying that there is no right way of using your time, but what i am saying is that i’ve learned that productivity and using your time wisely to get ahead-whether it’s through taking that one college course or planning out your dream vacation, or just jotting down on a piece of paper, your dreams, aspirations, and goals. For me, what helped was making a dreams poster. A dreams poster is set up in that you put a couple of pictures of your support system in the center, so family, friends, and around it put pictures of what you aspire to be and the kind of person you want to become. On mine i have all my academic goals, places i would love to travel to, my role models, etc.

These are just a few of the many things there are in this world that you can do with your time. Bottom line: Focusing on yourself and what you set out for yourself, is what promotes productivity and well-being.

When we want something to happen in our lives, its very unlikely that it comes to us at an instant. For example, if we want to have success in our lives, we have to learn what the steps are in becoming a successful person. In a sense, you can’t just skip to the parts you want, and expect the same results. It takes drive and time. You have to be able to push yourself to think growth and what is realistically possible. While it isn’t easy, you have to stay consistent with it.

This next topic I’m going to talk about ties into time but it’s the subtle fact that in today’s world, with all the technology used to communicate with people, theres not a lot of time in a day for people to just meet up and talk.

But you’d think that normally most teenagers, go out to high school football games or the movies or late night burger king runs(i dont know if that’s even a thing). Especially on friday nights!  For example, i love to go out and have fun, but maybe for some people it isn’t as easy to make plans and just go out. There are some people who don’t like to go out and would much rather stay home, and just text people or do whatever. I don’t know about you, but aside from just hanging out and having a great time, I really love sitting down, maybe having some food, drinks, and just talking with someone. I used to love texting people and talking on the phone, but now, I’m more into meeting up with people for food and such. I mean don’t get me wrong, going out every once in a while isn’t always a bad thing, but its good to get some space from just doing work and stressing about work. Like i said before, sometimes we have to take some time to breathe and then go back in.

Maybe taking a breather doesn’t always mean taking a break for a short period of time, it could mean that we could set aside some time to meet with a friend and just talk.

Well anyways, let me end with a quote to sum up everything that i talked about in this entry.

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”- Andy Warhol

Alright guys! have a great weekend!




The Meaning of Being in a Relationship and Staying Single

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Whats the deal with relationships these days? Frankly, the way i see is,  it’s either you’re in one or you’re not. There shouldn’t be any in betweens.

So a while back i was thinking about something about relationships now a days and now that i have it, i’d like to share it with all of you. Society has done many things like: a. make us feel like we can’t attain a set standard they set for us or b. completely bash the celebrities who have actually fought with their inner demons and have finally realized what it means, to them, to finally be happy with who they are and who they’re meant to be all along. But im not posting this to go into detail about a and b. I want to bring into focus that among the many things that society has done, there is one that really stands out in my mind: the way it conditioned us to think about relationships. Society has conditioned us to think that once we enter a relationship with someone, our moods shift from being ehh to being happy. Let it be known that getting into a relationship, doesn’t really solve all your problems and i get that it seems like it does, it really doesn’t. You shouldn’t be stemming all of your happiness from one person. Happiness should stem from you and only you, even before you even get into a relationship with someone. Because the moment that you set your happiness on that one person, is the moment that they might just turn around and hurt you, therefore making them the reason why your everything just became your nothing, real quick.

The thing about relationships is that its a really touchy subject. Look, I’m not here to bash on anyones beliefs on what a relationship is or how youre supposed to feel in a relationship, I’m just stating from my experience and what I’ve noticed. From my perspective, Love isn’t characterized by someone liking your photo on Instagram or how many times they have commented on you photo. Love is not described as writing a paragraph long caption stating why and how much you love someone. Love isn’t characterized by seeing who texts first in the morning or an instant text back.  Love is something that really shouldn’t be between the whole world and you two. It’s only ever supposed to be about the two of you and what you want out of the relationship.

Now, I’ve recently decided to take a vow of celibacy. At first, it was for shits, but quickly I began to realize the reason why I’m doing this. I realize that I am a woman of worth and that I really shouldn’t be dumbing myself down to being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t even acknowledge my worth as another man would. It annoys me when people, mainly guys say-about girls- “oh look man, she’s single, you gonna hit that?”- like even if she was looking for a man, think about it, would she be looking for someone like the guy I just mentioned? Most likely not. But we also have to take into account if that kind of person is what she’s into.  If she’s a different person, with different goals in mind, she would be someone who is really not looking for anything.  There are so many more factors that may impact someone’s reasons as to why they’re not ready-right away- to get into a new relationship.
But the fact of the matter is, I don’t really care if you’re in a relationship or not, all I care about is if you’re happy in the relationship and if you are happy, then my opinion shouldn’t really matter to you. Genuinely, I respect and admire those who realize they need to figure out exactly what they want and reflect on that through the things they love. That’s what I’m doing. I’ve found that I love yoga and I’ve been praying a lot more, so not only am I helping to strengthen myself physically, but also spiritually. You don’t have to declare yourself celibate to find what you like, but you can find what you like and, at the same time, meet people who fulfill the same things you’re interested in. But I declared celibacy for a wide range of things, mainly just to focus on myself. I want to focus on myself and on my happiness before I jump into a relationship with someone.

Okaaay that’s all folks!

Self-Validity in the Eyes of God


Hey there! It’s been a long time since i last blogged on here. So let’s talk about one of the most important subjects that are pretty personal: Self-Validity in the Eyes of God. So what is self-validity? Well to me, it means knowing who you are and realizing that you are a person worth of love. Which brings me to another point… I really hate seeing girls continuously letting themselves  be defined by the opinions of other guys. So what? Who gives a fuck about their opinions? The only opinion who you should care about is from the one from above. Self-worth doesn’t come from external sources like how many likes you get or how many guys you’ve slept with. Just because you didn’t get as many likes you wanted doesn’t mean that it makes you worth less than who you are. You are you. If people don’t like your photo, who gives a shit. There are more important things than yourself in this world. I really hate seeing people lose sight of this. I hate when they live their lives according to what other people think. It shouldn’t matter. Why? Because you are an individual, and individuals live their lives on their own terms. What people think about you shouldn’t matter. If you form your thoughts around how people see you and what they think about you, you will become depressed. Yeah everyone will still have their opinions, but what will only matter is what you think about yourself. Once you know that, you then find out who you are and you learn to love who you are.

It has taken a really long time to realize my self-worth and to forget about what people think about me. I think it took me a while to learn to love who i am. I learned to accept every part of myself, the physical, emotional, and mental parts of myself. I didn’t think there was such a thing as loving yourself, i thought it was a joke, but it really isn’t, it’s possible to love yourself for the person you are. I think everyone is beautiful in their own ways, but sometimes those people don’t even see it. And that hurts me. Because i used to be that way. People would say that i’m beautiful all the time, but i would never bring myself to believe it. Whenever i got down on myself and broke down crying, my mom would always tell me how beautiful i am and how i should learn to love who i am. Confidence is sexy. I became more confident in my freshman year of college. I mean, senior year was the year i became confident, but i fell under a dark depression towards the end of that year.

I believe that once you become confident, the boys start to line up to get with your confident self

That’s another thing. Only get into a relationship when you’re confident with who you are. Too many times, i have seen people who aren’t confident with themselves, get into relationships in hopes of having the person they’re going out with , to like them the way they are. The thing is, you cant make someone love you the way you don’t love yourself. How’s that even possible? It isn’t. When you’re in a relationship, you have to be confident, with what you want out of the relationship, what you want with the person, and above all, confident with yourself. When you’re not confident with any of the things i’ve listed, you’re simply not fit for a relationship. That’s through no fault of your own, you gotta know what you want and who you want and why you want what you want in a relationship.

Oh and respecting yourself too. When you learn to respect yourself, a magical thing happens, people see that and they begin to respect you are you respect yourself. Funny, huh? It takes you to get people to respect you. Respecting yourself also stems from knowing who you are and what you want out of a relationship. When you respect yourself, it shows how beautiful you are and how you demand to be treated. And how you are not one to fuck around with, but how you are one to fuck with.


Okayy Thats all Folks!


Lord grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


God Bless, My brothers and Sisters in Christ!