Learning to Be Your Own Best Friend

Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing well. It’s been quite a while since I blogged, but I am back and ready to share with you guys! For this post, I’m gonna be talking about the benefits of being friends…. with yourself! Now I know this sounds a little bit ironic, because not too long ago, I wrote a post (which was in the format of a letter) to a best friend, i.e another person. I’ve learned that that post didn’t have to be about one person, but that it can be about multiple people close to you in your life. The post might be very well about me, you, different people in our lives, your dog, etc. If you want to read it, I’ll provide the link below this post!

So becoming your own best friend? What’s that, you ask?

Well, you know how you can be friends with other people? Well you can be friends with yourself too! I know what you’re thinking. Karen, you cant be friends with yourself! Who says I can’t?! In fact, I read in an article, not too long ago, that if you wanted to keep your anxiety and on-going thoughts at ease, you should treat yourself as if you were talking to a friend in their time of need.  It also stated that if you are friends with yourself, you are more able to be gentler to yourself, in terms of your intrapersonal communication. Intrapersonal communication is your self-talk. How do you talk to yourself? Do you tend to talk down on yourself or do you talk positively about yourself?

If you answered any of the above as negative and ‘I talk down on myself’, then chances are you need to be there for yourself. Do things alone! Go your own way, literally do anything YOU want to do! Anything that sets your heart free? Yes. So about a year ago, I was getting used  to the college I go to and was mildly depressed. I was stressed out most of the time, I wasn’t eating, and at the time, I didn’t have any friends I could count on! I knew very few people at the time that I could hangout with.

One day while I was all down and out, my mom came up to me and told me, hey, if you’re ever feeling down or bored, why don’t you head out, on your own?  ON MY OWN?! I thought. How do people just “go out on their own”?! Like isn’t that what old people do when they’re widowed? As you can tell, this was my flow of logic. I thought that being alone and doing your own thing was a bad thing, I was always told that I should always go with someone when I wanted to go some place. As my mom opened up and told me the story of how whenever she felt alone or bored, being a stay-at-home mother at the time, she found excuses to get out of the house. She would go out, sometimes just to the stores and not even buy anything, but just browse! Of course, if she liked something or found it useful, then she would buy it. The amazing thing about that story was, She was able to use that to help keep her wandering mind at ease. It was something that helped her.

So, I took her advice and I went out. I ventured out into the unknown. In search of what? Well, I was about to find out. I remember feeling afraid, anxious even. I went to this high-end mall that had a ginormous forever 21 and wonder at every turn. I’ve done things alone before, but since I was in a vulnerable state at the time, where I wouldn’t go out on my own, unless it involved driving to school and coming home soon after that.  Being alone was a first for a while.

Fast forward to now, looking back at that experience, I honestly believe that doing things alone has been the greatest thing I have ever done! I realized that I was never alone, God is always with me and he has guardian angels watching over me. As he does with anyone else. He has all of your best interests at heart. In this experience, I’ve learned more about myself than when I would hangout in a group of people (haha the effects of groupthink). I actually took the time to get to know who I am and what I want out of life. Had it not been for that,  I wouldn’t have learned about myself and love myself for who God made me to be. Thankfully, it led me to meet the friends I have had the ultimate pleasure of meeting this year.

Always keep in mind that, you are never alone. Learn to do things on your own and you’ll be amazed by the benefits of doing so!

 

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Dear Best Friend

Dear Best friend,

I’ve been thinking about you for quite a bit and it sucks that you live in another state, but I’m always here for you. You are hard-working, smart and brilliant, you amaze me with your ability to remember and recall things you have read. Lately, it seems like you’ve been pretty distant. Based on what has happened in the past, I get it. You have a tough time trusting people and when you do finally open your heart up to someone, especially a guy, you feel like you’re walking on air, because for the first time in your life you feel understood, validated. You shouldn’t feel validated by someone who just gives you the time of day, you should be finding that from inside of yourself.

Believe that you are worth more, that you are blessed beyond measure with a support system, and that you deserve the best. Learn to love yourself first before searching for a man who will give you that same satisfaction. I mean, think about it, how are people going to love someone who does not love themselves first? How can you want a love that everyone else has with their significant others, when you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself? I love you, but I cant make you see the way I love you, if you are not willing to see the beauty in yourself.

Don’t feel hurt by your past. The past is a lesson learned and it doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. The past is what makes us human, it makes us stronger, it molds us into the people we strive to be for tomorrow. The way I see it, that while the past is a mixture of good and bad things, you have a choice. You can choose to be afraid of the future and angry at the past or you can choose to be proactive and push forward, eager to see where the future takes you. You cannot be mad for what has happened. As the saying goes “whatever has happened, happened”, therefore whatever happened in the past, cannot be altered, changed, or deleted. You can’t go back and change it because what has happened, happened for a reason. As I’ve said before, do not look down at your past mistakes, situations, etc, those serve as a purpose to educate you, a chance for you to learn about yourself and the people involved. Past mistakes can be made into positive triumphs, but they cannot be made into positive triumphs if you continue paralyzing yourself over what has already happened. Enough! You’ve done all you could in the situation, if it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out!

You need to surround yourself with people who really see your worth and see you for the amazing person you really are, because you deserve it. You deserve to be free from your hellish demons, that whisper a lie to you every time you don’t perform up to par. Don’t let them win, don’t give them the power to alter your reality. Instead, ground yourself with the utmost truth, that you matter and the world is better a betterplace with you in it.  God made you in His image and likeness. Why would you think of yourself, otherwise? He makes no mistakes. You are my best friend and I want to see you conquer these demons and come out on top, for once.

But you won’t be able to conquer these demons in your head and the stresses of life, unless you become equipped to fight for the life you want to live.

Sending Strength and Love,

Karenn

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