A Dynamic Mentality

Hi friends! I hope all is well with you and that you are having a fantastic summer.

I wanted to hop on here today to talk to you about this aspect of forcing things to happen because y’all… I have some tea to spill.

Before I begin, I want to preface this by explaining what I mean by forcing things to happen…

It’s along the lines of forcing a romantic relationship to happen…

So for about most of my dating life… I’ve forced relationships to happen.

Yep. Me.

I’m not proud of it, but it’s something that needs to be talked about.

& Since realizing this, it’s set me on this incredible path of learning, healing and understanding.

Which is great… but had I not forced things to happen, I think my life would’ve been easier.

Just a little bit, haha.

But since I had and I’ve learned from my mistakes since then, it gives me this cool opportunity to speak on it from experience

Below I highlight 3 reasons why forcing things to happen is not good and then I bring it all together at the end.

So let’s get started!

You don’t allow yourself to enjoy life as it is…

Because you’re so focused on having what everyone else has or what you deem as something that follows a specific order of things.

You’re in this constant state of anxiety and trying to control something that wasn’t meant to be controlled.

It’s awful.

When you force something to happen, it doesn’t mean it’ll be smooth sailing or that the person you want to be with will eventually choose you…

you have to get to a point where you choose yourself and what is most authentic to you.

It brings up a lot of things you weren’t prepared to handle

Oof.

This one right here.

So if you’re anything like how I was… You want things to happen because you believe that you are ready and deserving of these things.

But you don’t really think about the growth that you have to do that’ll allow you to handle these situations in a better way.

It’s a lot of pressure you put on yourself because here you are, trying to make something work, but you either lack the growth and understanding to do so or you lack experience in how to make something like a relationship work.

which brings me to my next point….

It may hurt you more in the long run

Forcing something to happen with someone who probably doesn’t want anything, hurts you in the long run because not only are you settling for less than what you deserve, but you are also having to realize things the hard way.

That maybe there is some more character development that needs to be done and more healing and atonement has to be done so that you don’t allow the same or similar patterns take place.

However, that’s not to say that you need to be “fully healed” when you meet someone, because healing ebbs and flows as we grow.

But what I’m trying to say is you need to start setting boundaries with yourself and others, define your values, make a list of nonnegotiables (and stick to them), and ultimately think about what it is you want.

What is it that you have to do? What kind of person do you want in your life moving forward? How can you be that person for yourself?

These are things you need to think about and the energy and time you invest in yourself in discovering all of this, the less likely you’ll force things to happen with someone.

Bottom Line is…

It’s all up to you.

You can continue what you’re doing and wonder why you seem to find yourself increasingly anxious and let emotions get the best of you or you can approach this a little bit strategically and think about investing in yourself.

Above, I listed reasons why forcing things to work out will never work, from my perspective, but ultimately the ball is in your court.

If you think you’re someone who’s been in these situations and wants something different but doesn’t know where to look… this post is for you.

I’m always going to be on team whatever works best for you and your lifestyle.

Sending you a ton of love and light your way,

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