They’re People, Too

Hey guys! It’s not just thanksgiving, but pretty soon it is gonna be early black Friday shopping, which means only one thing…. LET THE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BEGIN!! Fight to the death for the things you want…Right? Wrong. No one should ever raise their voice at someone who is clearly trying to help them get the products they want. I’m talking about the retail workers who don’t have a choice, but to work on holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Etc. These are holidays where spending time with families and making memories are a crucial part of what make the holidays what they are. Special. I’m talking about all the general managers of the big toy stores, Office supply stores, Supermarkets, etc., who have to be at their jobs, especially on a day like today because they need to oversee operations, get everything in order and get merchandise stocked so that they can be sold to customers, among many other things. You guys are the real MVP.

Today and Tomorrow are going to be chaotic and because we live in a society where we want things right here and right now, it makes it difficult for people who aren’t retail workers to be conscious of how crazy they sound. But how the hell would I know, you ask? I used to work in retail. For 3 months. Now, 3 months doesn’t compare to 3 years of retail experience but its something that I can put on my resume, right? Haha.  I know that 3 months isn’t enough to know everything there is to know about the inner workings of a store, but it is enough to provide some insight to how retail workers feel and since I have had and exposure to what Season (what my co-workers and I would call the Black Friday/Christmas shopping season) is like. So without hesitation, I’m going to tell you all about how retail workers feel, how you can be conscious to their feelings, and most of all, how you can control the anger that comes with wanting everything here and now.

From a retail worker standpoint, their job description does not entail that they take your shit. Honestly, is it plastered on their forehead, “Hi, Welcome to *insert store name here*, I am ready to take your shit”? NO IT DOES NOT.  So before you go all, “This isn’t the product I wanted”, “Can I please speak with your manager”, “You’re doing an awful job”, Think about the fact that these are HUMANS. They are living and breathing humans, like you and me. They deserve the same amount of respect that everyone else does. You, the customer have no right to look down on these people. They take the time out of their day from their families, to go to work and to help people like you. Before you think about raising your voice at an employee, PLEASE consider the following:

Do you think you can make your point without yelling?

Are you harboring a deep seated anger that has nothing to do with the person who is trying to help you?

If you answered yes to the 2 questions, then you need to re-evaluate how you can diffuse the situation. Be conscious of the fact that they can make mistakes too. They’re not superhuman.  If you want respect from someone, you can’t just demand it. You have to earn it, regardless of where and who you are. Take a deep breath and realize that maybe you, the customer, need to make your needs known, so that the employee can do their part in helping you get what you need. It’s hard enough that you’re in the middle of chaos, but please understand that employees are in the middle of it, too and they are doing all they can to make sure you get what you need.

Please take a deep breath if you need it and ask, politely, where you can find your item. In the midst of all this chaos, keep in mind that one little deep breath can go a long way in making sure that the situation goes smoothly. If you’re a retail worker, don’t constantly do this every time you come across a guest who needs help, as it will look like you’re huffing and puffing and blowing down the house made out of straw (hah 3 little piggies remark), but do it as needed. Customers included. I don’t care what your level of patience is, but learn to be patient with the employee and customer, vice versa. Yelling at someone and constantly being on their ass, does not make them bring out your product faster. Calmly, but firmly telling them that you need something does. You have to understand that on days, like today and tomorrow, these employees have what feels like, 501+ things to do, please don’t be a dick and scream obscenities at them when they’re not bringing out your product. It’s disrespectful and quite frankly makes you look like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Don’t do it.

Keep in mind that the employees are there to help you, not be your second class citizen who you can just shit on. They are there to make sure you have a pleasant experience while shopping, in the midst of this chaos. Don’t chuck items at them and expect them to catch it, they’re people, too. Chucking things at them not only causes more chaos and does not diffuse any situation. Help them help you. Do your part as the customer and they’ll do their part as the employee/gen manager.

Have you ever realized that some employees, have to work on a day like today? Do you ever realize that more than half of these employees have their own families they need to get home to? Be considerate of the employees this holiday season, their job isn’t easy, but they’re the ones doing it. Holiday shopping is stressful, but we can all help each other have a good experience.

Happy thanksgiving, everyone!


Learning to Be Your Own Best Friend

Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing well. It’s been quite a while since I blogged, but I am back and ready to share with you guys! For this post, I’m gonna be talking about the benefits of being friends…. with yourself! Now I know this sounds a little bit ironic, because not too long ago, I wrote a post (which was in the format of a letter) to a best friend, i.e another person. I’ve learned that that post didn’t have to be about one person, but that it can be about multiple people close to you in your life. The post might be very well about me, you, different people in our lives, your dog, etc. If you want to read it, I’ll provide the link below this post!

So becoming your own best friend? What’s that, you ask?

Well, you know how you can be friends with other people? Well you can be friends with yourself too! I know what you’re thinking. Karen, you cant be friends with yourself! Who says I can’t?! In fact, I read in an article, not too long ago, that if you wanted to keep your anxiety and on-going thoughts at ease, you should treat yourself as if you were talking to a friend in their time of need.  It also stated that if you are friends with yourself, you are more able to be gentler to yourself, in terms of your intrapersonal communication. Intrapersonal communication is your self-talk. How do you talk to yourself? Do you tend to talk down on yourself or do you talk positively about yourself?

If you answered any of the above as negative and ‘I talk down on myself’, then chances are you need to be there for yourself. Do things alone! Go your own way, literally do anything YOU want to do! Anything that sets your heart free? Yes. So about a year ago, I was getting used  to the college I go to and was mildly depressed. I was stressed out most of the time, I wasn’t eating, and at the time, I didn’t have any friends I could count on! I knew very few people at the time that I could hangout with.

One day while I was all down and out, my mom came up to me and told me, hey, if you’re ever feeling down or bored, why don’t you head out, on your own?  ON MY OWN?! I thought. How do people just “go out on their own”?! Like isn’t that what old people do when they’re widowed? As you can tell, this was my flow of logic. I thought that being alone and doing your own thing was a bad thing, I was always told that I should always go with someone when I wanted to go some place. As my mom opened up and told me the story of how whenever she felt alone or bored, being a stay-at-home mother at the time, she found excuses to get out of the house. She would go out, sometimes just to the stores and not even buy anything, but just browse! Of course, if she liked something or found it useful, then she would buy it. The amazing thing about that story was, She was able to use that to help keep her wandering mind at ease. It was something that helped her.

So, I took her advice and I went out. I ventured out into the unknown. In search of what? Well, I was about to find out. I remember feeling afraid, anxious even. I went to this high-end mall that had a ginormous forever 21 and wonder at every turn. I’ve done things alone before, but since I was in a vulnerable state at the time, where I wouldn’t go out on my own, unless it involved driving to school and coming home soon after that.  Being alone was a first for a while.

Fast forward to now, looking back at that experience, I honestly believe that doing things alone has been the greatest thing I have ever done! I realized that I was never alone, God is always with me and he has guardian angels watching over me. As he does with anyone else. He has all of your best interests at heart. In this experience, I’ve learned more about myself than when I would hangout in a group of people (haha the effects of groupthink). I actually took the time to get to know who I am and what I want out of life. Had it not been for that,  I wouldn’t have learned about myself and love myself for who God made me to be. Thankfully, it led me to meet the friends I have had the ultimate pleasure of meeting this year.

Always keep in mind that, you are never alone. Learn to do things on your own and you’ll be amazed by the benefits of doing so!


Dear Best Friend

Dear Best friend,

I’ve been thinking about you for quite a bit and it sucks that you live in another state, but I’m always here for you. You are hard-working, smart and brilliant, you amaze me with your ability to remember and recall things you have read. Lately, it seems like you’ve been pretty distant. Based on what has happened in the past, I get it. You have a tough time trusting people and when you do finally open your heart up to someone, especially a guy, you feel like you’re walking on air, because for the first time in your life you feel understood, validated. You shouldn’t feel validated by someone who just gives you the time of day, you should be finding that from inside of yourself.

Believe that you are worth more, that you are blessed beyond measure with a support system, and that you deserve the best. Learn to love yourself first before searching for a man who will give you that same satisfaction. I mean, think about it, how are people going to love someone who does not love themselves first? How can you want a love that everyone else has with their significant others, when you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself? I love you, but I cant make you see the way I love you, if you are not willing to see the beauty in yourself.

Don’t feel hurt by your past. The past is a lesson learned and it doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. The past is what makes us human, it makes us stronger, it molds us into the people we strive to be for tomorrow. The way I see it, that while the past is a mixture of good and bad things, you have a choice. You can choose to be afraid of the future and angry at the past or you can choose to be proactive and push forward, eager to see where the future takes you. You cannot be mad for what has happened. As the saying goes “whatever has happened, happened”, therefore whatever happened in the past, cannot be altered, changed, or deleted. You can’t go back and change it because what has happened, happened for a reason. As I’ve said before, do not look down at your past mistakes, situations, etc, those serve as a purpose to educate you, a chance for you to learn about yourself and the people involved. Past mistakes can be made into positive triumphs, but they cannot be made into positive triumphs if you continue paralyzing yourself over what has already happened. Enough! You’ve done all you could in the situation, if it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out!

You need to surround yourself with people who really see your worth and see you for the amazing person you really are, because you deserve it. You deserve to be free from your hellish demons, that whisper a lie to you every time you don’t perform up to par. Don’t let them win, don’t give them the power to alter your reality. Instead, ground yourself with the utmost truth, that you matter and the world is better a betterplace with you in it.  God made you in His image and likeness. Why would you think of yourself, otherwise? He makes no mistakes. You are my best friend and I want to see you conquer these demons and come out on top, for once.

But you won’t be able to conquer these demons in your head and the stresses of life, unless you become equipped to fight for the life you want to live.

Sending Strength and Love,


Learning to Deal With Stress

Hey guys! I hope all of you are hanging in there. Where are all my college kids at? This one’s dedicated to you guys! I am a college student myself and I think that regardless of our majors, what year we are doing, etc, we all deal with a different levels of stress. I’m here right now to tell you not just the side effects of stress,  but also different ways in which you can deal with this stress, as well as how you can be better in tune with your body because in most cases your body knows of this stress before you even do!

So what is stress? I mean we all feel it from time to time, whether it be at work, being under a pile of work, or just being at school and thinking about all the things you have to get done. Or in my case, you’ll dream of something that kind of symbolizes what you’ve been feeling, i.e stress and anxiety manifested in everyday objects such as a truck, a car accident, or just plain freaking out in your dream.

Stress is your body’s way of telling you “HEY! TAKE CARE OF ME!”. So if you’re feeling drained after a long day, chances are you may be in need of some TLC and sleep. If you’re like me, who breaks out like crazy, maybe it’s time to dial it back and not take on as much responsibility. But the one thing I want all of you to remember is this: make sure that YOU come first, all other things can wait. That being said, if you don’t feel at all like yourself, then how do you expect to perform at your best? Always always always make sure to keep you and your overall health in check. 

Something that I’ve learned along the way is if you continuously ignore your stress and ignore what your body is telling you, what’ll happen is you will become depressed. Studies have shown that people who prolong their stress, end up with some form of depression. What’s more, is stress has the power to lower your immune defenses, making you more vulnerable to catching a cold and other illnesses. When you catch a cold, always remember that it is your body’s way of telling you that you need to rest and relax for a bit. Believe it or not, stress can contribute to a lot of diseases, like cancer, hypertension, ulcers, colitis, fibromyalgia, heart attacks, strokes, the list could go on, but the bottom line is this: your body is nothing to fuck around with, so if you have to take a breather, relax, that is completely within your power to do so. Allow yourself to relax a bit, chances are, your body has been telling you for a while, listen to it.

Image result for whole body intelligence

Now you’re probably wondering, listen to your body? Karen, what the fuck are you talking about? So as I have said before, your body has the ability to detect and feel stressed before you even realize it! Your body is an amazing thing and I learned this all while reading  Whole Body Intelligence: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body to Achieve Greater Wisdom, Confidence, and Success by Steve Sisgold. In this revolutionary book, Steve not only tells his story with listening to his body, but he also talks about how he has helped other people listen to their bodies and get more out of what they want in life. Steve also incorporates into this book something called, “body centric practices” that he uses on his patients. These exercises are effective in that I’ve tried them and I have let out so much pent up energy in my body, so many emotions flowed through me, ranging anywhere from calm to flat out sobbing, to anger. Surprisingly, it was actually liberating, to do so. I never realized that I held in so much sadness and anger until I did these exercises as illustrated in the book. While doing these dynamic exercises of  essentially getting to know my body, I was able to find out who I really am and what I want out of life. Most of all, this book helped me feel grounded. I sincerely hope this book does the same for you, gives more insight into who you are and what you are destined to do in your life. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who feels lost or struggling to keep their emotions in check! Click the link above to check out where you can get Steve’s book!

Moving along, so remember how I talked a little bit in my last blog post about finding your outlet? (Read it here) Well, I am going to place more emphasis on not just the whole idea of having an outlet, but also the importance of being able to deal with stress head on.

Since my recovery from depression, I have been able to find many more outlets where I feel that I can let out all my negative emotions, in a more healthy and positive way. I started out with going to the gym, then worked my way to writing blogs, to photography, to heading out to the mall or going for a walk, to organizing my room, to watching a movie. An outlet is anything that can help keep your mind busy from any stress/anxiety that you may feel at any given moment.

The other day this week, I felt so overworked, so unbelievably stressed, and nothing was going the way I wanted it to go.  I realized that I had 2 options, it was either 1) I would stay here at home, drowning in the work I have to do for my classes or 2) I go to my outlet, i.e the gym, and run on the treadmill. I chose option 2 because I knew I had to get out of the house and into a space where I can focus all my energy, release all my anger and related emotions from me. So I went, ran a mile and felt significantly better after the fact because I was able to put myself in a different frame of mind.

A different frame of mind meaning that I was able to feel more motivated, in terms of what I was going to do, which was to run and basically let out my anger in a healthier way. I was able to use that outlet to help me realize that whatever happened that day won’t matter a year from now.

Through it, I was able to find a healthier way to deal with stress. The only reason why I’m pushing so hard on this outlet thing, is because once you have one, you can become better equipped to deal with being stressed. Choose an outlet that not only keeps your anxious/stressed mind, busy at work, but also that it helps relax you and helps you get back to the person you were before you got stressed out.

I really hope all of you find your outlets and know that you are not the only one who is stressed/anxious. Surround yourself with people who get it and try to learn from them about what they do to deal with their stress!



I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’ – Kesha

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