Why I Blog

Hey guys, I know its been a while since I posted my last blog post and I’ve been pretty busy this past weekend, but I am so happy to be back on here and just post my thoughts.

So without further-ado, I’m gonna talk about Why I blog.

This idea came from watching Demi Lovato’s new Documentary called “Simply Complicated”. In it, Demi talks about her early childhood, how her singing and acting career took off, and more importantly how her mental illness all started as well as, where she is today. Demi talks candidly and unashamed about the events in her life, which was very eye opening to see in a girl who basically had to grow up in the spotlight. She opened up about how and when she started with drugs and alcohol, as well as her sobriety and how it really hasn’t been easy, but how it has been worth it. But the one thing I was able to resonate with the most and the one thing I am going to hone in on, was the fact that she deals with bipolar disorder, or manic depression, and how she was able to find her outlet in music.

From a young age, Demi was always involved in or with music, to her it was this thing that really kept her sane, it was her outlet and I find that to be absolutely amazing and impressive. The thing about bipolar disorder is that the people who suffer from it, they tend to have mania, or manic episodes where they will throw themselves into one thing and will spend countless hours doing the one thing they love or want to do. So for Demi, it was staying up all night making music. For people going through this it’s something that while it is a manic episode, sometimes they have no memory of said manic episode.

While watching this, I remembered a couple of times of when I  struggled with my depression. When I had depression the first time around, I remember not wanting to do anything and not wanting to do anything that would eventually help me in the long run. I felt like I didn’t have any options and felt completely and utterly hopeless. In the midst of the cloud of depression I was under, I managed to find one outlet, and that outlet became writing. Much like Demi, if I really needed someplace to vent, I would go to my journal and just try to write anything.

But unlike Demi, I wouldn’t sing, I would just write until my hand got tired. To me, there were no rules that were associated with writing in my journal, it was something that I learned throughout my recovery process. Writing wasn’t just something that I picked up during a time of need, for me, it was always there. Ever since I was about eight years old, I remember just being so fascinated with writing that I would write about things that happened to me on a daily basis. Writing became more enforced when I was a high school sophomore and I had this awesome English teacher who made all of his classes have a marble composition notebook.  In them we could write about anything, he would even have essay prompts up on the board. So when I was given that freedom, at 16, I knew I had to run with it. Writing’s been the most constant thing in my life, friends and boyfriends may have come and gone, but my writing has been something that has always stayed with me.  I am so happy that I get to use it as a tool to not only reach out, but also as a cathartic way to let my emotions out.

Writing began to have a big impact in my life and it was this moment where I decided to turn my writing into blogging and blog about my thoughts on various things. When I first started out blogging, I was in my freshman year of college. I remember feeling the need to vent, to write out something, and I just went for it, I blogged about the first things I could think of, which was about how I dealt with depression, panic attacks and the importance of success (if you want to read the first posts I made on here, I will put the links at the bottom of this post!). I remember feeling really happy after telling my story and wanting to tell everyone I knew at the time, about this new thing I discovered, called blogging. To every person who passed my way, I would promote my site to them and tell them, “Hey! Read my blog!”, I think I still do that today, but mainly over the social media and I’ll ask a select few friends what their thoughts were while reading it.

One of my main goals, is to create a blog, have people read it and feel empowered by what I write.  I find a clearer meaning in something that either bothers me or something that I really care about.  I really hope that telling my story will help other people in similar situations too. I thank God everyday for giving me an amazing outlet and I hope that He helps you find your way through other creative outlets! Mine just happens to be writing, but for you it could be anything. An outlet is something that really takes your mind off of the stressors in your life and can be super cathartic, examples include, but are not limited to: art, photography, dancing, working out, writing, coding, sketching, editing photos, singing, writing your own songs, driving, making food, baking, going outside, and many more!

With writing, I am able to feel sane and comfortable in myself, knowing that I have a voice. When you find your voice through any outlet, the benefits can truly be life changing. Make the decision to find your voice through your own outlet and you’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish in your life.

So my questions for all of you are:

What are your outlets? How did you discover them?

 

Heres the link to some of my first blog posts!

My Definition of Success

An Inside Look at Depression

Panic Attacks: What’s the Big Deal?

Also here is the link to Demi’s documentary on youtube!

 

If you or someone you know is suffering a mental health illness or is struggling with drug/alcohol addiction, please reach out!

Suicide Hotline: Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or log on to your browser and contact a trusted mental health professional, you are not alone in this and if you really do need help, please do not hesitate to pick up the phone!

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration(SAMHSA):  https://www.samhsa.gov/

 

 

 

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Where Being Honest and Authentic Get You In Your Professional Life

Hello everyone! I hope you are all enjoying the fall weather and all its festivities! What are some of your favorite fall festivities? I personally like pumpkin picking, hay rides and apple picking! So piggybacking off of a more recent blog post (link here) I’m going to talk more about the importance of authenticity and being honest with yourself in today’s modern world

Being authentic is an integral part of professional life. I mean people want to work with someone who is real (am I wrong?). Someone who really knows what’s going on, especially in terms of what your career is. Okay! So think of this scenario, imagine you’re the boss of this awesome business and you are looking for people who share the same passion you have, are willing to create more, and contribute to the ideas you have for this business. Now that you have an idea of who you want on your team, you are not settling for anything less than that ( and if you are, then you should probably get you priorities straight and get focused). You are not going to bring along someone who ACTS like they care about the job and the business you are trying to promote, nor are you going to bring along someone who is just in it for the “yearly bonus” or salary. You made it explicitly clear that you want focused, driven, passionate individuals. When you’re driven to do something, money doesn’t matter and the right job will definitely bring your best self to the table. Your dream job should be everything that you look for in a job and more, it should go in accordance with your dreams and your overall drive in life.

A job isn’t a one size fits all type of thing, it’s either you like the job you’re doing or you don’t. It’s quite simple, I really don’t understand why people stick around at a job that constantly stresses them out and does nothing but bring in negative energy. That negative energy is dangerous and all of you have heard me say it before so I’ll say this again and louder for those in the back, when you bring in negative energies into your life, you are opening yourself up to a lot of stress and many illnesses associated with it, including mental health illnesses. So don’t quit the job just because you don’t like it, quit the job because you see that it doesn’t do you any good sticking around something that really drains you.

Image result for 11 laws of likability

A while back, I had gotten this book as a gift from my parents. The book is called The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like by Michelle Tillis Lederman. In this book, Michelle talks about these 11 laws of likability and how she was able to apply these laws in not just her professional life, but in her personal life, as well. She goes in to detail and talks about how when she was teaching this Business course, student made her realize that we, as human beings, have a strong desire of being liked by other people.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we really do care about being well liked by our superiors at work or by our very own professors in college. Michelle also teaches you how to network with potential employers and with being able to relate to different kinds of people in your everyday life.  Now, this book doesn’t help you get people to like you. It’s more about getting people to like you AND doing so, by just being yourself. This book has done an amazing job in terms of helping me find who I am and how I can uncover my authentic self. Regardless of your career, I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is willing to embark on a journey of self discovery into finding out your most authentic self. I hope this book gets you to where you need to be in your academic, professional, personal life and more!

Like I’ve said before, I have no tolerance and no time for fake people, Why should I even be around people who don’t value me or see me the way I see my most authentic self?

Through that book and many other resources in my life, I have been able to walk away from people and things that just drain me, fill me up with doubt, and make me feel less like myself. Honestly, if I had stayed around at the retail job that I used to work at, I think I’d become a more different person than who I am now. I wouldn’t be following my heart or what I wanted, I would be following the way of a lot of people who just don’t like their jobs and are only in the job because the pay is decent. Why should you even settle for something that’s just ‘decent’? When you have the ability to go further.

Now, I’m the kind of person where I’d rather be out here looking for my authentic self.  In my journey of self-discovery, I realize that friends-who actually value me- to be with will eventually come at some point. Either way, as long as I know that I am living my best AND authentic life, I know that everything else (i.e friends, new career, etc) will fall into place. Thankfully, I can say that I have found those friends who definitely value me and see me as an authentic individual.

Instead of being stuck at a job that you hate, why not just branch out and go back to school? Now, in today’s world, there are many more resources that can help you become more qualified for the job that you want. All you have to do is look. I see a lot of older people who didn’t have the opportunity to do that, and now they’re following their dreams.  They’re just becoming their most authentic self.

In order for your life to come together, you have to figure out who you are, what you stand for, and most of all how you value yourself. Surround yourself with people who share similar values and who challenge you everyday to be a better person, an authentic person. 

 

Here is Michelle’s book on amazon!

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Making The Best Out of Your Current Situation

We’ve all been there. That shitty part of life where you feel like nothing is going the way you want, where all you wanna do is curl up in a ball and role into a hole, never to be seen again. I get it. We are human and we are bound to fail one way or another, but that shouldn’t make you want to throw in the towel when life gets shitty or tough. No, you fight for the life you want to live because, well, it becomes well worth it when you make an effort to be mindful about the situations that you find yourself in. Always inculcate an idea of “that’s all you got, life?! BRING. IT. ON. I’M READY FOR YOU!!!” Taking on a boss ass attitude really shows how resilient you can be, it shows your ability to bounce back from whatever life throws at you. 

      Throughout my life, mind you I’m only 20, I’ve met a great deal of people who have gone through hell and back in their lives and the one question I always have for them is “how were you able to go through what you have been through?” Some of the responses I’ve gotten were “well I had no choice, but to move forward”, “I chose to look at the positive/mindful in my life”, “I focused on one thing and that one thing got me through my tough time” that one thing could’ve been his/her ticket that took them out of the situation and into a better life that they provide for themselves. Uh, yeah I’ll take a one way ticket to get me the FUCK outta here. Ha! Totally kidding. By ticket, I don’t mean a physical ticket where you can take the midnight train going anywhere *cue Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believin'” *.

 What I mean by ticket is that, symbolically, it means something valuable, irreplaceable, even, to different people. Having that ticket, to them means the absolute world, it is something that they will work towards in order to obtain that golden ticket. Having a ticket also means that it instills a drive, a drive to make their lives better, a drive to become an inspiration to those around them, and ultimately, a drive to grow as a person.

In life, you have two decisions to make after having a bad day or a bad situation, all together: you can either give up, stop trying all together, and hold on to that anger OR you can get back on your feet, say “HEY LIFE! IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT?!”, And remain mindful about the situation you’re in and try again tomorrow. It’s just a bad day, not a bad life. We’ve all had our own share of bad days and bad situations, but should that stop us? NO. Of course not. 

I’ve had my fair share of drama, my fair share of my bad days. Whether it be with boys, with friends, or with my own family members, it’s all been temporary. The people in my life have come, gone and some things have gotten better, while others were better left alone. For the record, those horrible situations didn’t break me. They made me stronger. They helped mold me into the person I am. Through all of these bad days, I have learned something very valuable about myself and about the people who put me in the shitty situation to begin with. I’ve gained so much perspective and have been able to focus all my energy in being mindful about the situations I find myself in. I used to lock myself in a situation and just think ” well shit. I’m in this situation, so I’m just gonna sit here and do nothing and wait till there’s a solution” . 

 If I were to give my teenage self any advice, it’d be this: You do not find a solution by just sitting on your ass and twiddling your thumbs waiting for something to happen! You find your solutions by looking for one! Don’t stop until you’ve found every possible solution for your situation. My mom taught me this important concept and I almost hate to admit it, but she is right. What good are you gonna do if you just sit and become afraid of the situation you’re in? Nothing! Get up and look for a solution.  You could have it worse, but you don’t! When I was a teenager, I thought every bad day would define who I am or who I would become. Looking back at it, it really doesn’t. What it does define, however, is your outlook or perspective. Coming out of each situation, your attitude changes.

How you react to the situation is based on your attitude and how you choose to react, is up to you. 

 How were you able to overcome a difficult situation? Was it your attitude or was it the people who helped you?

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control the way you think about all the events”

The One Sign Telling You To Let Go and Move On

My oh, my has it been a long time or WHAAT?! Ha-Ha. I’ve been pretty good, just a little busy with some fall semester things, such as studying and trying to get everything in on time! But right now, I want to talk to you guys about something that I realized on my way home tonight.

How are we still friends with the people we talk shit about? Like remember the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it”? Does that only apply if we are saying shit to other peoples faces? What about when we talk behind another person’s back? Does the quote not apply? Time and time again, I have seen and heard people talk massive amounts of crap about the other person. The other person being, a best friend.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure we have all fallen victim to this, myself included. I just find it completely ridiculous and fake that people still are in the awful habit of talking smack about another person, they claim to be friends with.

For myself, I honestly don’t do it anymore, because I know better than to talk smack about someone and pretend to be their friend soon after. Frankly, I’d rather cut this person out of my life than to have them around. It’s simple.  If you don’t like someone, and they happen to be your friend and you are talking smack about them behind their back, what benefit do they have to you in your life? None. So why bother wasting your time and energy on someone who doesn’t share similar values? Why bother being around someone who only gives you negative energy? Why do you even bother with the fake attitude you have towards this person, when you have the potential to become a real person, a better person.

I never will understand why people stay around someone who only fills them up with an awful amount of negativity. Honestly, I have no room for fake people in my life, it is part of the reason why I am much happier, it is the reason why I am not as stressed out as I used to be. I can breathe easier now, because I cut out a ton of people who really filled me up with negativity and hate. That is no way to live, no one should live with a strong amount of hate in their heart. Spiritually, if you harbor a ton of negative energies, you become susceptible to a wide range of diseases, like mental illnesses.  If you think about it, you are basically opening yourself up to all the bad in the air and it is enough to put you through an emotional wringer. I do wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

Another thing, I will never understand,  is the way people use other people to get what they want. In this case, we are talking about friends who don’t just talk mad shit about each other but how they, in turn, use each other to get ahead or something in return. Friendships don’t even work like that. Relationships don’t work like that! The way that all relationships, in general, work is if there is an equal amount of give and take, that there is an understanding between these two–or more–people.

To me, talking to someone only when you need something, is just fake. It really shows who you are and what your true colors are.  To me, that is not, by any means, genuine. I’d rather be alone, then be around people who are constantly draining me, hitting me up only if and when they need something, and talking crap about me. To them, they think that’s okay because as long as I don’t find out what they say about me, I’m fine. Well frankly, I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the shit they talk about because at the end of the day who has me? ME. Like I said before, I’m not afraid to stand alone, nor will I ever be. I am proud to be who I am. I pray and hope that all of you may feel this way. I hope that you will find the strength in yourself to find a better friend, companion, whatever, and become the REAL you.  Learn to love yourself enough, to walk away from any negative situation.

Sending Love and Light

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“There’s nothing typical about Genuine Love. To be loved authentically is to be blessed beyond measure. Only a fool would take advantage of something that so many people yearn for.”
― Stephanie Lahart

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