The Meaning of Being in a Relationship and Staying Single

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Whats the deal with relationships these days? Frankly, the way i see is,  it’s either you’re in one or you’re not. There shouldn’t be any in betweens.

So a while back i was thinking about something about relationships now a days and now that i have it, i’d like to share it with all of you. Society has done many things like: a. make us feel like we can’t attain a set standard they set for us or b. completely bash the celebrities who have actually fought with their inner demons and have finally realized what it means, to them, to finally be happy with who they are and who they’re meant to be all along. But im not posting this to go into detail about a and b. I want to bring into focus that among the many things that society has done, there is one that really stands out in my mind: the way it conditioned us to think about relationships. Society has conditioned us to think that once we enter a relationship with someone, our moods shift from being ehh to being happy. Let it be known that getting into a relationship, doesn’t really solve all your problems and i get that it seems like it does, it really doesn’t. You shouldn’t be stemming all of your happiness from one person. Happiness should stem from you and only you, even before you even get into a relationship with someone. Because the moment that you set your happiness on that one person, is the moment that they might just turn around and hurt you, therefore making them the reason why your everything just became your nothing, real quick.

The thing about relationships is that its a really touchy subject. Look, I’m not here to bash on anyones beliefs on what a relationship is or how youre supposed to feel in a relationship, I’m just stating from my experience and what I’ve noticed. From my perspective, Love isn’t characterized by someone liking your photo on Instagram or how many times they have commented on you photo. Love is not described as writing a paragraph long caption stating why and how much you love someone. Love isn’t characterized by seeing who texts first in the morning or an instant text back.  Love is something that really shouldn’t be between the whole world and you two. It’s only ever supposed to be about the two of you and what you want out of the relationship.

Now, I’ve recently decided to take a vow of celibacy. At first, it was for shits, but quickly I began to realize the reason why I’m doing this. I realize that I am a woman of worth and that I really shouldn’t be dumbing myself down to being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t even acknowledge my worth as another man would. It annoys me when people, mainly guys say-about girls- “oh look man, she’s single, you gonna hit that?”- like even if she was looking for a man, think about it, would she be looking for someone like the guy I just mentioned? Most likely not. But we also have to take into account if that kind of person is what she’s into.  If she’s a different person, with different goals in mind, she would be someone who is really not looking for anything.  There are so many more factors that may impact someone’s reasons as to why they’re not ready-right away- to get into a new relationship.
But the fact of the matter is, I don’t really care if you’re in a relationship or not, all I care about is if you’re happy in the relationship and if you are happy, then my opinion shouldn’t really matter to you. Genuinely, I respect and admire those who realize they need to figure out exactly what they want and reflect on that through the things they love. That’s what I’m doing. I’ve found that I love yoga and I’ve been praying a lot more, so not only am I helping to strengthen myself physically, but also spiritually. You don’t have to declare yourself celibate to find what you like, but you can find what you like and, at the same time, meet people who fulfill the same things you’re interested in. But I declared celibacy for a wide range of things, mainly just to focus on myself. I want to focus on myself and on my happiness before I jump into a relationship with someone.

Okaaay that’s all folks!